I was called a "stuck up b..." by an addict

"stuck up bitch oh yea that wil makw mw feel better or do better to b around people who think their s*** dont stink no thanks"

Yep!  I was called that and more.  The funny part is, I came from that.  That family.  That mentality.  That area.  That trash talking.  That immorality.  That drug culture lifestyle.  Was never addicted to drugs, but don't recall much else being off-limits to me.

So, in a way, that young person is right.  I do have an elevated view of myself.  Why not?  Why should one continue to regard oneself as unchanged when they are, in fact, changed?  

I've lost 65 pounds of fat.  Would it be considered ridiculous if I continued to look at myself at 200 pounds, wore the same clothes, buckled my seat belt in the same place, struggled to tie my shoes and continued to complain that I couldn't walk around the block without getting winded?  Of course it would!!

Then why is it so outlandish that I act different because I no longer dress trashy; no longer act trashy; no longer engage in trashy behavior; and married and stayed with the same man for 23 years?  

Because, it's not my problem.  It's their problem.  They look at me and see what they could be and they are angry because they know they have to change to become better than they are.  They have to give up their love affair with drugs, alcohol and sex.  But they don't want to.  They are miserable as they are but will fight to the death to remain as they are.

"What is happy? Idk how that even feels anymore...."

"if people can't understand then dnt. I'm getting better!!!"

"some people just need to learn and be able to care about themselves before they can even start to get any better... thats what's helping me is helping myself..."

When I was growing up there were 2 things I knew I couldn't do and live.  Number 1 was back-talk my mother.  Number 2 was change who I was.  It wasn't until I moved away and continued to grow that I realized that I could become different.  I could change.  I didn't have to have a mouth like a toilet.  I could get a better job than just minimum wage.  I could get educated.  I didn't have to lay down with dogs and get fleas.  I didn't have to cast my pearls before swine and roll in swill.  I could be better than I was in spite of my surroundings, in spite of the people who raised me.  I didn't have to get drunk and get in fights.  It wasn't a "given."  It wasn't "set in stone."

When you change your circumstances or you take your circumstances and use them to better yourself, there will be those who say you are "stuck up" and "you think you're better than everyone."   What they are really saying is they are jealous of your success.  They hate you because they see what they could be if they only did one thing different, but they refuse.

Why do they refuse to change?  Who knows.  Sometimes the people around them hold them back.  All the pleading they do for them to change is a facade for the chains they have on them.  They may even think that no one could possibly help them so the addict is way better with them.   After all, if the addict went away, they may not have anyone else to feel better than.

You know you've hit a nerve when all they can do is get mad and cuss you.  Ah, but when they want drug money, they will forget your past transgressions and come crying about wanting to change and all they need is $150 - $400 for this wonder drug that will help them past their addiction  to heroin or pain killers or whatever.  They don't hate you.  They don't love you.  The fact of the matter is, they will say or do anything to maintain their habit and you are just a tool to get more money to feed their arm or their nose.

And if they are with someone who doesn't like you, they won't like you either.  Until they need you and they will need you again. 

I copied the following from a post on Facebook:

To all parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and anyone who cares about anyone who is an addict. Please read this. It wasn't sent to me either, but I know young and old who are addicts and you need to know this.
If you have time read this, It was not sent to me but it sure stirs the nerves when this goes on so much in the world.
I NEED to get high,
I am not your child, or spouse, or friend. I’ve changed. I don’t belong to you any more. I don’t care about you. Not in the way you want me too. I care about getting high. I WANT to get high. I will do ANYTHING to get high. I LOVE getting high. I NEED to get high.. and I will step over you to do it. When I look at you, I don’t see YOU. I see a means to an end. You have money. I want it. End of story. I don’t care if you can’t pay the rent. I don’t care if you need groceries. I don’t care if you promised you wouldn’t give me money again. I don’t care if you lie to Dad. I don’t care if you’re broke. Sell your rings, take a loan, sell your electronics, max out your credit cards, borrow the money from someone else, because if you don’t, I will STEAL it. I WILL find a way to get HIGH. You think you can CHANGE me, or SAVE me. You are WRONG! Something cold and dead slithers within me. I no longer respond to love or truth. You can CRY all you want. I don’t care. I have no integrity or values. My morals are a thing of the past. I will say anything, do anything, and hurt anyone, to get my next FIX.

Although I may play the game with you, make no mistake. I don’t play it because I LOVE you, I play it because I want my DOPE. I will say what ever you want to hear, I will promise you the world, I will look you in the eyes, and I WILL break your heart. I don’t have a heart any more. I have a HUNGER. It’s calculating and manipulative, and it OWNS me.

In a strange way you’re thankful for my hunger. For when I feel it coming on, I find you, quick! Then when I’ve gotten what I want from you, I leave. You’re anxious without me. So you phone me and offer to buy my food, or pay my rent. You always GIVE me something.

By now, your NEED is almost as great as mine.  I can’t stay SICK without you. You can’t breath without ME.  You think you’re helping me. You believe you’re making a difference, but what you’re really helping… is my ADDICTION.

I won’t tell you this, but you know it, deep down.  If we keep going like this, one or both of us will die. Me from an overdose, that you paid for, and you from a heart attack, or stroke.

You’ll wait YEARS for me to change, or see the light, and I will take full advantage of this.

You will keep my secrets and protect my lies. You will clean up my messes and bail me out. You’ll love me to the exclusion of EVERYONE else.  You will become bitter and resentful. You will hide from your friends and isolate. You will HATE.

Your world will revolve around one thing only… ME.  But will your LOVE ever become greater than your FEAR? Would you be strong enough to reach out for help? Will you learn to say NO? Will you allow me to experience the consequences of my actions? Will you LOVE me enough to feel your OWN discomfort and stop enabling my ADDICTION?

I lay trapped with within the confines, of this dark cold, serpent -addiction, and I am, waiting…

The end?  Hardly.

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Evil in The Church House

Sounds odd to say that there is evil in the place where people go to worship THE LORD.  But the fact is that evil lives and prospers within the walls of that arena.

Evil comes through the doors in many forms.  Sometimes it waltzes in the door and teaches the youth.  It brings its own particularly special kind of salacious attitude to the youth.  When a young married woman becomes enamored with another man, a man who should have been taught better, and they make their relationship public, flaunting it for all the congregation to see, it teaches the youth that adultery is okay and fornication is winked at by the Church.

Evil comes through the doors in the form of Elders and Deacons.  The older silver-tongued man who fancies himself a ladies man and indiscriminately makes passes at younger women thinking that with his position and his assumed "favor" with GOD he can be forgiven these little indiscretions.  After all, it really isn't hurting anyone.  He's not really going to follow through, right?   What difference does it make, indeed?  [Matthew 5:28  But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.]

Evil comes through the door in the form of the sweet and kindly elderly woman who has decided that it would be financially more favorable to shack up with her man-friend than to marry.  The example is set that fornication or even just the appearance of evil is winked at by the Church.  [1Thessalonians 5:22  Abstain from all appearance of evil.]

Evil comes through the door laced with pride and bolstered by idolatry.   [Proverbs 16:18  Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.]  

"We don't need a preacher!" will be an attitude of some.  And that attitude begs the question, why call yourself or your building a Church?  If you need no guidance in that book you pretend to follow; if you are not following Scripture and are Hell-bent upon going your own way, why, oh why, even call yourself a Church?

Why not just call yourself the Onion Field Community Center or The Community Country Club, set up a charter, complete with dues, install a swimming pool with a lifeguard, turn the Family Life Center into a mock gambling hall and be done with it!  After all, if you're going to wink at sin, you might as well go all the way, shut your eyes and dive in.  You'll get there sooner and won't have the agony of putting up those Christians who insist upon following the pesky book called THE BIBLE!

You could counsel youth on birth control and sexually transmitted diseases, have dances and raise all kinds of money.   No one would have to stand up against abortion again, you just tell them when the bus leaves for Jackson so they can get one.  You won't have to worry about having any undesirables within the walls because only those who had their dues paid up to date would be allowed to come in.  [1Timothy 6:10  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.]

So many of our Churches are just little dens of iniquity wearing Church clothes.  And we wonder why the unsaved aren't impressed.  Do you really have to wonder why we are called "The great Satan" by other religions?   Do you have to ponder long why so many will be so surprised when, on judgement day, they will hear, "Depart from ME, I never knew you."  [Matthew 7:22  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?  23  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.]

Wouldn't you rather hear, "Well done!"?  [Matthew 25:23  His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.]

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!
Psalms 122:6  Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.

Success is NOT a Four Letter Word!

Success is not a four letter word.  Why is it that when people talk about successful people, it is with disdain or even outright hatred?  The news media is bad about it, particularly if the successful person is conservative.  It is truly an advancement of class warfare.  During the reign of Robespierre in France, the guillotine was invented as a quicker way to dispose of those filthy, wealthy rulers.  It was easier than the axe.  He started with the ruling class.  When he ran out of wealthy noblemen and women, he started for the wealthy business men and women.  As the pickings grew slimmer, he looked for yet another sector of the people to guillotine.  He grew in favor with the people until he started hunting them. 

Hitler was not the first to try to eliminate "undesirables" but his way was horrifically more, shall we say, efficient than that of Robespierre. 

Remember this the next time someone starts trying to turn you against a segment of the population.  Look at their reasons behind it.  Look closely at the laws they are trying to pass in order to enforce another effort at thought control.   I am not a supporter of any type of "hate crimes" legislation, nor do I support any type of restrictions on how much a person can honestly make in a year or in their lifetime.

The lowest wage one can earn should not be a mattress but step; just one step of many that they will take in their lifetime.  One should not be confined to simply "getting by" because they know every few years the minimum wage will be raised and they feel like they are "okay."

My first job paid me $1.00 an hour.  My next job paid me a whopping $1.50 an hour.  Within a short time, I was making $2.25 an hour.   Then I got a job that paid the enormous amount of $135.00 a week and that included my lunch HOUR and my health insurance with no deductible.  Overtime was paid after I worked a full 40 hours.  I actually worked 9 to 5 before working overtime. 

In today's economy, folks are protesting and fighting tooth and nail for that minimum wage to be increased like there is no hope for them to every get a decent paying job.  Today someone can make $750.00 a week and still not be able to clear enough to pay their rent/house payment, put gas in their vehicle and buy food. 

Wonder why that is.  We can blame taxes, government intrusion into our personal lives in the form of mandated health care, EPA regulations on where we live, the President's wife telling moms and dads what they can send in their children's school lunch, the news media with its penchant for declaring EVERYTHING a disaster and we can blame ourselves.  We can blame ourselves for putting up with this nonsense and allowing the "nanny state" to get started in the first place.

Success is not a four letter word and neither is work.  Well, "work" is a four letter word, but it's a good one.  Government can't supply jobs except in bureaucracy.  The government can't make you successful with subsidies, grants or minimum wage increases.  You have to work and make yourself a success.  It won't be easy.  You may have to change course more than a couple of times.  You may never be a billionaire.  Shoot, you may never make a million, but you will own it.  It won't be anything that someone has given you simply because you exist.  There is a certain amount of pride that goes with that and it is a good thing.

I wish you great success in your particular endeavor providing it is meaningful and of benefit to someone other than yourself.  Success is much better when it's shared.

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

A rabbi’s plea on divestment from Israel

A Rabbi’s Open Letter to Presbyterians

A rabbi’s plea on divestment from Israel

KEITH SRAKOCIC / ASSOCIATED PRESS

By Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch / NYDailynews.com
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Faith:

There is a Jewish folk tale that defines a friend as one who knows what gives his comrade pain. If we do not know what gives our fellow human being pain, we cannot be a friend.

You have caused us deep pain.

Our friendship has been ruptured not because we may disagree on any specific policy of the government of Israel.

Rather, by publishing Zionism Unsettled, a study guide deeply critical of Israel, and last week voting for the Presbyterian Church to divest from three major companies that do business with the Jewish state, you have evolved views that come perilously close to classic Christian animosity toward Judaism.
You criticize Israel incessantly, unfairly and disproportionately. But you are silent about Arab rejectionism, intolerance, and terrorism. There is little reflection, little sophistication, and little effort to understand underlying causes. Your minds are made up. You even ignore the reality that Israel is the only place in the Mideast where Christians are comfortable and safe, and Christian holy places are protected and open to all.
It is, indeed, tragic that there is violence in Israel and the Palestinian territories. You are not the only liberal movement that seeks peace. We, too, have been fighting for peace our entire lives. But it is even more tragic that Israel has been left with no alternative but to fight against those who have never recognized her and have made it their cause to destroy her.

It is easy to sit in a convention center and debate politics, policy, and philosophy far removed from the realities of daily life.

It is easy to write resolutions if you have never experienced the fear of sending your children to school in the morning and worrying about whether they will come home at night.
It is easy to voice noble sentiments of love and brotherhood if you have never had to don gas masks or spend days on end in a bomb shelter.

It is easy to condemn the walled section of the security barrier in Bethlehem, utterly ignoring why it was built in the first place: Because Palestinian terrorists were crossing into Israel and murdering and maiming thousands of Israelis in suicide bombings, or climbing onto rooftops in Bethlehem and shooting at civilians.
Is it too much to expect fellow liberal believers to understand Israel’s basic obligation to protect her citizens? Is it too much to expect fellow liberal believers to have some sympathy for a fellow democracy struggling to survive in the world’s worst neighborhood, encountering challenges the likes of which no other democracy in the world must face? Instead, you voice paltry pieties and self-satisfied sanctimonies.

The test is not whether you can quote religious chapter and verse. The test is to apply religious values to a difficult reality where it takes two to love and two to practice brotherhood and two to make peace. You act as if Israel alone has the power to make peace and has simply chosen not to. You give the impression that the Palestinians are mere potted plants.

In “Zionism Unsettled,” while you attack what you perceive as the exclusivist and even racist elements of Judaism, you also praise the inclusive nature of Islam. I have no doubt many Muslims are inclusive. I have met, and deeply respect, many of them, and we have worked together in brotherhood and common cause. But it is dishonest to ignore the reality that Israel, and the West itself, are fighting not that part of Islam that is inclusive, but the part that is rejectionist and violent. At this moment of anti-humanitarian, anti-Christian, anti-Jewish, anti-women’s rights, anti-gay, anti-pluralistic, anti-Western tribal savageness in the Middle East, this is the moment that you chose to divest from companies trading with Israel?

Divestment is shameful. Boycotting enterprises trading with Israel is reminiscent of dark chapters in Jewish-Christian relations that we hoped were behind us. No matter how much you seek to explain or distinguish, you have chosen to join the BDS (boycott, divestment, and sanctions) movement. You have allied yourself with some of the worst and most implacable of Israel’s enemies. They are not in favor of what you say you support: two states living side by side in peace. You should not be comforted by the relative handful of Jewish activists and academics you have found to support your views. Your Jewish supporters are marginal and unrepresentative and cannot be the slender reed upon which to justify your anti-Zionism or renew a productive partnership, if that is even what you want.

Finally, and I say this with no intention to offend: It is not for you to decide whether Zionism is a legitimate expression of Judaism; that is for Jews to decide. It is for you to decide only whether you will respect our understanding of Judaism.

I join you in praying for peace; may it come speedily in our day.
—————-
Hirsch is rabbi of Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in Manhattan. He wrote this open letter in an email to his congregation; a longer version can be found on the synagogue’s website.


http://www.levitt.com/news/2014/06/29/a-rabbis-open-letter-to-presbyterians/

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Dedicated to the Preacher Man - When the Issue is No Longer the Issue

Friendship is relative. Friends love one another. The Body of Christ is called Christ-like or Christian. We are called to show love one for another. We are called to show love even for our enemies, those who spitefully use us. I'm not citing chapter and verse from the BIBLE because those who know it simply know what I say is true. Those who choose to ignore it really do not care where it is in the BIBLE or even IF it is in the BIBLE. 

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If you become irritated with every preacher's sermon that you consider a 'slight,' you will never find peace nor the perfect preacher.

Nor will you find it by always separating yourself from those who irritate you. You can only fire so many preachers before you find yourself very much without a choice. You can keep hiring new preachers, of course, but sooner or later they will irritate you -- and then what?

Perhaps the better course might be to let the irritation go. Preachers rarely mean it personally when they do that, and a touch of easy forgiveness every day is even better than an apple.  Forgiveness, just like the apple, is for the one who holds it. The apple doesn't benefit. Neither does the one being forgiven.

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Bitterness, envy, strife, discord - all signs of a tortured soul.  The pain that courses through the heart and mind often finds its way out of the only avenue of escape - the lips.  When venom drips and the harshness is obvious to everyone, it is evident that the lips that have such caustic flavor are coming from an extremely tortured spirit. 

A difference of opinion becomes a battle and a simple comment creates a wall and war is declared.  And we are Christians.  And we are at war.  The battle that rages does not belong to us.  It is a Spiritual battle.  It is not between flesh and blood.  Yet we embrace the battle and arm ourselves with weapons so vile the Devil himself is giggling gleefully.

What to do when one sees a battle raging between two Christians is often a dilemma that few of us are equipped to face and none of us want to face, especially if we are not one of the combatants.  The problem is seldom that either is completely wrong.  Unless there is a doctrinal difference then there can be no "compromise" on one party's part, particularly if you believe in the inerrant nature of the WORD OF GOD.

So, what does one do when a congregation is pulled into a territorial dispute over something as simple as who decides what goes into a bulletin or as critical as to whether or not women should be Deacons?  What do you do when the actual issue has long since departed and the issue is no longer the issue, it is the struggle that now matters?  What does a bystander do with this drama?  I might add unnecessary drama.

When tension descends upon a church and even visitors notice it, there is no way I will invite someone to the service without having grave misgivings.  I'd almost rather not invite anyone.

When there are a few who, rather than confront an issue and work it out or at least work on it, would prefer to refuse to speak to one another and leave the room rather than be in the same room with the other, would prefer to act as a child and simply vilify the opposition, how do we handle that?