Although I have been in the workforce for more than 40 years, things have never ceased to be amazing to me.
You have those who insist that they never lied and never did anything to add distrust to the company. You know that person, they cannot wait to tell everything they know and swear up and down that they never did a thing. They will look you in the eye and lie when the truth would serve them better. These seem to be the people who are always trusted by either gullible management or management is using them to allow information to "escape" while being free to disclaim any knowledge. These people are disposable and somehow end up lasting longer than they should. They appear to be dumb as dirt but probably know exactly what they are doing.
There are those who see no usefulness in lying. They live in truth and are willing to accept the consequences of their actions. For some reason, because they are willing to admit their mistakes, management has little use for these people and looks for ways to drive them out.
The dichotomies in the small town business world are endless. Truth-tellers are run off or terminated while liars and deceivers are kept, coddled and made to feel important.
It is not surprising that those who are creative and sit around and "think" are given priority over those who work their tails off and give their all to the company. It is as though the creative stinkers (that maybe should be thinkers - maybe not) are the ones who keep the company running. They forget about the slaves (I am sure that should be employees) that work from dawn to dusk maintaining files, computers and paperwork. What they don't realize is that the customers will sometimes not pay if they do not have the proper paperwork and that means originals. "Duh, where was that thing filed?"
Sometimes administration becomes so consumed with sound-proofing the walls, they forget about the ceilings and they never even think of surveillance within their own offices. Those cameras really are tiny. You can even hide microphones in telephone systems, picture frames, etc. Those things can be hidden anywhere and they can be quite cost-effective. Did you know you can put one in a computer or a laptop and it broadcasts without anyone knowing what is going on? You really can do that. It takes a long time to find the item and it takes even longer to find the software. It can be embedded in your normal every day software and operating system. They can be in light switches or just anywhere.
When that is done, it gives anyone ample opportunity to glean all kinds of information to give to the IRS or Sales Tax entities or the NLRB or even to ICE or those dreaded unions. We all know how much you guys like unions. We also know how many deals have been made with unions to get them to lay off. After all, there is only so much room and the area can only handle so many nefarious characters. You can't have leaches sucking on other leaches. That just wouldn't work, now would it, boys?
Then you have all the money. Where does it come from? Better yet, where does it go? It is easy to lose track of all the transactions. You really do have to know where to look.
I once worked for a company who had an owner's son that built his house and bought all the construction materials through the company. The only problem was that the little fellow never reimbursed the company for those purchases and they were found during an IRS audit. You could see the sweat and the scrambling to get checks deposited. And of course it was simply an over-site. It was interesting to watch. I can think of things that will be more interesting though.
Nothing like someone going to sign up for retirement and they tell him the amount and he says those sweet words, "But I made more than that! They paid me cash!" Then come the audits and more people are found to be lacking and the fun begins.
I imagine since the government watches for key words for terrorist activity, they could also look for key words like tax evasion, tax fraud or failure to pay overtime or other such catch phrases and then they would have to start looking and I'm sure that once they start looking, they just can't give up until they find something.
That's a fantasy that I have. There could never be anything like that happening in the real world. Or could there? All companies are totally honest and would NEVER think of lying, cheating or stealing, would they?
Just like an owner wouldn't cheat on his wife while condemning an employee for thinking about it. Nothing like that would ever go on here, now would it? We're all just one big happy family. Or are we?
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Principles
It was said many years ago that if you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything. It is all part of what makes up your character. Character is what we have when there is no one around to see. Scripture has many things to say about a person's good character.
Back in the old days, when a handshake was all that was needed, a man or woman was judged solely upon his or her character. People knew who could be trusted and who was of ill repute. In today's society that line between bad and good character has become a muddy lagoon. The idea that if it does not hurt anyone or you simply don't get caught, whatever you do is fine is prevailing in every day life; the professional and business world; and in churches of all shapes and sizes.
There are agreements made daily to meet a friend at a certain time, but invariably one or the other is late or never shows up. It is a small thing, but is a public showing of what one's character truly is - uncaring for someone's time and in general, rude.
Businesses daily do things such as pay someone cash when they should have a payroll check. That is called fraud. It shows a lack of character and disdain for laws and regulations. They also pay workers as a contract when the regulations state the person should be an employee. This way, they pay no benefits and no taxes. It shows a disregard for the people who work for them.
A business will also lay someone off, then pay them cash on the side if they come in and work their regular job. They encourage employees to do illegal things and wonder why other employees are cheating on their time.
Businesses violate safety standards in order to speed up production and it shows a total lack of care for their employees. They promote an aura of indifference for the employees health and well-being. It is a travesty that someone will pay for with his limbs or his life. So what, there are plenty more that need a job.
They sell things for cash so they pay no sales tax. They think no one will ever know. They skew their purchases so it looks like it was a part used in manufacturing rather than pay full sales tax. The employees won't tell because they need their job and they fear reprisal. Business owners will buy hundreds of thousands of dollars of equipment and parts for their own personal use and the business pays for it. Oh, it was delivered to the business, but was never used for business purposes.
The catch phrase "how will they (tax entities) find out?" becomes the mantra they live by.
The management teams try to use illegal means to force employees to do things by withholding their paychecks when legal means would accomplish quicker results. They cover up and lie and cheat and steal and if anyone speaks out, they are terminated using trumped up charges.
They force older and disabled workers out using torment and verbal comments that they think will never be refuted. They can lie and say they never said that. They forget that most of their employees do have a brain and have not gone in empty handed to meetings. They fail to acknowledge that electronic recording devices come in miniature sizes and can be hidden anywhere on any person.
They will one day be caught and will suffer the consequences of their arrogance. There is a courtroom and a jail cell waiting. They think that because they brought the marbles and they own the land, that they can play the game anyway they chose. The problem is that more know about what they have done than they ever could know.
Their arrogance will be their pitfall. "Pride goeth before a fall" - that you can be sure of. Pity the fool who claims to be a Christian and acts like the Devil himself. You will know them by their fruits and their fruits they are a stinkin'!
Back in the old days, when a handshake was all that was needed, a man or woman was judged solely upon his or her character. People knew who could be trusted and who was of ill repute. In today's society that line between bad and good character has become a muddy lagoon. The idea that if it does not hurt anyone or you simply don't get caught, whatever you do is fine is prevailing in every day life; the professional and business world; and in churches of all shapes and sizes.
There are agreements made daily to meet a friend at a certain time, but invariably one or the other is late or never shows up. It is a small thing, but is a public showing of what one's character truly is - uncaring for someone's time and in general, rude.
Businesses daily do things such as pay someone cash when they should have a payroll check. That is called fraud. It shows a lack of character and disdain for laws and regulations. They also pay workers as a contract when the regulations state the person should be an employee. This way, they pay no benefits and no taxes. It shows a disregard for the people who work for them.
A business will also lay someone off, then pay them cash on the side if they come in and work their regular job. They encourage employees to do illegal things and wonder why other employees are cheating on their time.
Businesses violate safety standards in order to speed up production and it shows a total lack of care for their employees. They promote an aura of indifference for the employees health and well-being. It is a travesty that someone will pay for with his limbs or his life. So what, there are plenty more that need a job.
They sell things for cash so they pay no sales tax. They think no one will ever know. They skew their purchases so it looks like it was a part used in manufacturing rather than pay full sales tax. The employees won't tell because they need their job and they fear reprisal. Business owners will buy hundreds of thousands of dollars of equipment and parts for their own personal use and the business pays for it. Oh, it was delivered to the business, but was never used for business purposes.
The catch phrase "how will they (tax entities) find out?" becomes the mantra they live by.
The management teams try to use illegal means to force employees to do things by withholding their paychecks when legal means would accomplish quicker results. They cover up and lie and cheat and steal and if anyone speaks out, they are terminated using trumped up charges.
They force older and disabled workers out using torment and verbal comments that they think will never be refuted. They can lie and say they never said that. They forget that most of their employees do have a brain and have not gone in empty handed to meetings. They fail to acknowledge that electronic recording devices come in miniature sizes and can be hidden anywhere on any person.
They will one day be caught and will suffer the consequences of their arrogance. There is a courtroom and a jail cell waiting. They think that because they brought the marbles and they own the land, that they can play the game anyway they chose. The problem is that more know about what they have done than they ever could know.
Their arrogance will be their pitfall. "Pride goeth before a fall" - that you can be sure of. Pity the fool who claims to be a Christian and acts like the Devil himself. You will know them by their fruits and their fruits they are a stinkin'!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
My teeth aren't white enough!
That's right!
My teeth aren't white enough.
My armpits have a disgusting white residue.
My skin isn't clear enough.
My makeup coverage isn't good enough.
I'm not tanned enough.
My belly isn't flat enough.
My deodorant isn't powerful enough.
My pain reliever isn't powerful enough.
My hair color isn't bright and shiny enough.
According to the commercials there is not one part of my body or my life that is satisfactory.
There is more money to be had.
I'm not wealthy enough.
My house isn't big enough.
My financial decisions aren't good enough.
I don't have the right lawyer.
I don't have the right doctor.
I don't have the right decor.
My yard is in bad shape.
If I listened to all the commercials I would believe all that nonsense. While I might agree with some of those things (I'm not about to tell you which ones) it is still my teeth, my armpits and my house. Until there is mandatory government regulations mandating how white my teeth should be, they are my teeth and as long as they are clean you will just have to look at sub-white teeth.
My teeth aren't white enough.
My armpits have a disgusting white residue.
My skin isn't clear enough.
My makeup coverage isn't good enough.
I'm not tanned enough.
My belly isn't flat enough.
My deodorant isn't powerful enough.
My pain reliever isn't powerful enough.
My hair color isn't bright and shiny enough.
According to the commercials there is not one part of my body or my life that is satisfactory.
There is more money to be had.
I'm not wealthy enough.
My house isn't big enough.
My financial decisions aren't good enough.
I don't have the right lawyer.
I don't have the right doctor.
I don't have the right decor.
My yard is in bad shape.
If I listened to all the commercials I would believe all that nonsense. While I might agree with some of those things (I'm not about to tell you which ones) it is still my teeth, my armpits and my house. Until there is mandatory government regulations mandating how white my teeth should be, they are my teeth and as long as they are clean you will just have to look at sub-white teeth.
Perky Happy Morning People
Perky happy morning people with the always sunny personality are really annoying. As long as they keep that nonsense to themselves, they are mildly tolerable.
For some reason these people think it is their duty to make everyone into them. It ain't gonna happen. People like me are a necessity in life. You cannot get work done when you are walking up and down the halls spreading joy.
You can't spread it my way anyhow. I know what true joy is and it isn't walking around some insipid little grin on your face trying to force everyone else to SMILE.
I've got a newsflash for you. Not everyone's facial muscles are the same. Some muscle configurations simply look like they are frowning or unhappy when they aren't. And when you insist that someone is not happy when they are, you are simply being ignorant and insensitive. Get over it.
I kind-of figure that people who smile inanely all the time are either drunk, on drugs, or hiding such pain and anguish that they are going to blow at any moment and take about 6 of their co-workers or management with them.
Think about it the next time you walk down the hall and encounter one of those mindless, happy grins. If it's on management, the company could be in deep trouble.
Have a nice day! :)
For some reason these people think it is their duty to make everyone into them. It ain't gonna happen. People like me are a necessity in life. You cannot get work done when you are walking up and down the halls spreading joy.
You can't spread it my way anyhow. I know what true joy is and it isn't walking around some insipid little grin on your face trying to force everyone else to SMILE.
I've got a newsflash for you. Not everyone's facial muscles are the same. Some muscle configurations simply look like they are frowning or unhappy when they aren't. And when you insist that someone is not happy when they are, you are simply being ignorant and insensitive. Get over it.
I kind-of figure that people who smile inanely all the time are either drunk, on drugs, or hiding such pain and anguish that they are going to blow at any moment and take about 6 of their co-workers or management with them.
Think about it the next time you walk down the hall and encounter one of those mindless, happy grins. If it's on management, the company could be in deep trouble.
Have a nice day! :)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Remembering Shame
There was no reason to remember how it felt. The darkness descended and it was years before the knowledge would be brought to light. Yet it was always there. Like pigment on skin it refused to leave.
It was sometimes difficult to know when the real world was truly real. I lived on starships that sang and planets where all beings lived in peace. Blurring of the lines between the mundane activities of daily living and that of transporting to new worlds was not uncommon.
But even fantasy worlds have their drawbacks. The problem with having a visual thought process is that as the words come, so do the visions that the words describe. You can say you saw a pansy. I then see the pansy. My mind conjures up the deep purple and the pale white that goes to make up the illusion of a face. I see the deep yellows and can almost smell and touch my vision. There are things that I cannot listen to because of the vivid imagery of my own thought processes, but I can watch them and feel little. I can see the reality without truly experiencing it.
When certain shows are narrated, my desire to quiet their voice is enormous. If they describe a horrific murder, I experience it in my mind and it haunts me for days. On the other hand if I witness something first hand, I know what has happened and have no desire to mentally embellish it.
My life as a child was, how do I say it, interesting? Sexual abuse conjures up the image of a child being penetrated by an adult. I do not recall that particular thing happening to me. But, there are things that happened that I wish I did not have to forget.
My father had just returned me to my mother. It was something akin to returning a defective hair dryer. I was 13 when my mother met and married Three. I have to admit that I thought he was nice looking and since I was an aspiring artist, I drew pictures of his face and gave them to my mother.
I used to scratch his back. He lay on the floor and I would sit on his lower back and scratch his back. I did not know what that was doing to him and my mother never should have allowed it to be done. He was laying there on the floor becoming aroused while I sat on his rear end and scratched his back.
There was one time that I was thankful for having gas. Oh, I was not thankful at the time, but looking back I think it kept me out of trouble for a while. It happened one day while I was sitting on him and scratching his back. I farted. It was not one of those girly ones either. It was a big fat loud one. It was one of those that made a 13 year old hide their head in shame for days! I never sat on his back again.
There was no HBO or cable or satellite television in those days. There were maybe 3 channels if your antenna was pointed in the right direction. Fifty years ago a 13 year old had not seen sex on TV nor in the movies. I was not living in such advanced times and had no clue as to what made a man do what men did. I had no desire to know either. I liked my somewhat sheltered life.
I would still scratch his back from time to time but never like before. But, looking back, I can see that he never quit trying. There was never a time when I was ever considered as being athletic, but my joints were nimble and I could do contortions that most people could not do. When he found that out, he asked me to do it often, until I just tired of being a trained animal.
When we moved out of state to the mountains, I thought things would be better. He was taking Mom, my brother and myself to his home in West Virginia. It was there that fantasy turned to horror.
Mom was pregnant with my little sister. As mom grew larger in her pregnancy, things between her and Three got worse. The fights were louder and his lechery started showing up more. We were living in a 1 bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor. Joyless slept on the roll away bed. I slept on the sofa. Mom and Three shared the bedroom. And then it started.
Three, "Joyless, come here! If you look through the keyhole, you can see your sister in the bathtub!"
Mom, "Three, your perverted son of a bitch!! Stop it!! Leave her alone! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!!" She yelled at him constantly about everything and her yelling came to mean nothing to him.
I had just started undressing when I heard the commotion on the other side of the door. I hung a towel over the keyhole, made sure the door was locked and continued with my bath. I made sure that I was never alone with him and then there was little brother to worry about.
The drama begins. Three comes home from - wherever (work, bar, it does not matter). They fight and suddenly he is choking Mom yelling at her, "I WISH YOU'D LOSE THAT DAMN BABY!!!"
Joyless and I run over to him and start hitting on him yelling and trying to make him stop. He does stop. The neighbors yell and they scream at each other and it is over as suddenly as it started. Mom can still breathe and life goes on.
It was a Saturday. I know because it was cold outside and brother and I were home. Mom wanted to knock him out when he came home. He was becoming increasingly erratic in his behavior. You never knew what would set him off.
Mom was anxious and looking furtively about the kitchen. "I need something to knock him out."
I handed her the iron skillet. She said, "That should do it."
She held it in her had for a few seconds and handed it back to me saying, "It might kill him. I don't want to kill him, just knock him out!"
I thought about what she said as I put the skillet away and thought to myself, "So what? What difference would it make?"
She finally handed me a bottle and asked me to fill it with sand. I took the bottle and put rocks and sand and some water in it trying to make it as heavy as possible. By the time I got back upstairs her plan had changed and she had 2 boards leaning against the wall. I have no idea where she got them, but there they were. Once she decided what she was going to do, we settled down, ate dinner and waited.
When he finally got home, she met him at the door and asked him where he had been. They started arguing and swearing at each other. As the argument escalated, she moved backward to where the boards were leaning against the wall. She picked up one and slammed him hard against the side of the head. He stood there looking at her, stunned for just a few seconds. She raised it again and as she was about to connect a second time, he laughed at her. He took the board from her and broke it in half across his knee while he laughed.
My heart sank and all I could think was that she should have used the skillet.
"What the Hell's wrong with you, Spet?" was all he said as he walked past her.
It was just too weird. Nothing phased that man. I was in shock, but there was no time for wondering what would happen next. He just wanted to play cards.
I hated playing cards with him especially when he lost. He just started swearing and throwing things and it was just a mess. Once he just took the cards and threw them up in the air. Joyless and I picked up the cards when he left the room and try as hard as we could, we could not find 5 of the cards. We looked everywhere. When I lay down on the sofa to sleep, I looked up and they were hanging on the chandelier.
President Kennedy was assassinated that year. The baby was born shortly after and we called her Lost Innocence. Three sent Joyless to the bar with a note that said, "Give this boy a bottle of beer." and scrawled his name. Three came home drunk one time. I remember that well. It was close to Christmas.
Three said he was going to his brother's house to do something. About 1:30 that morning, someone propped him against the door and the high heels clicked down the hall as he banged on the door. Mom got up and went to the door.
"I love ya, Spet." and he threw up. "Ya know I lub ya." and he threw up again. She managed to guide him to the bathroom and hollered at me to clean up the mess and she would give me a dollar.
I managed to get it cleaned up. I would have done it anyway without the dollar. I loved my mother and felt sorry for her. I tried to go to sleep, when Mom asked me to help her get him into the tub. By the time I got to the door, she had him in the tub. I stood by the door when she turned on the cold water. The tub was an old tub and the faucet was one that stood straight out instead of curving down like modern faucets. The ice cold water hit him full force right in the crotch. He would have jumped clear out of the tub if he had not been so drunk.
I went back to bed and listened. She got him out of the tub and led him into the bedroom. I got up to see the carnage and noticed blood all over the place. She told me he had come home with his hand cut. It was quiet for a while. She went into the kitchen and brought out a butcher knife. I shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep.
Nothing was stirring the next morning and I went to the bathroom. There was blood on the walls and all over the tub. I used the toilet quietly and silently walked the few steps to the bedroom door following the drops of blood. I looked in and saw Mom lying on the bed awake. Three was hog-tied and asleep beside her. There were splotches of blood everywhere. It was not too long after I glanced in that Three started to stir, choking himself as he tried to straighten up. There was a pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. They were all either torn or cut up.
It did not take long to find out what had transpired the night before.
You could see the fear awaken on his face as he tried to look at himself and he screamed, "What've you done? You crazy bitch! What'd ya do ta me?" I had to stifle a laugh as he continued to rant and simultaneously choke himself.
There was the 6 foot 1, 185 pound crazy man tied up like the pig he was, screaming like a baby. Yes, I thought it was funny. My 5 foot 7, 100 pound mom had him in a real bad way and I was hoping she would leave him that way.
When he calmed down and she had had enough fun, she brought the knife close to his face and gave him one of those looks. It was a look that said, "You are mine and I can do what I want with you. You can't guess what I'm gonna do next." When he thought he was going to die, she took the knife and cut the rope setting him free. He was still hung over so he was in no shape to start any fights. He was too busy checking body parts to cause any trouble.
Mom had cut up the clothes that she could not tear in half. The only clothes that he had to wear were the clothes he wore home that belonged to his brother and a pair of shorts and old torn T-shirt that was in the laundry basket.
Yes, we were just one big happy family. All that happened in just 2 months. Intermixed with all of that was Three's hatred of Joyless. He choked him holding him against the wall all the while watching him turn purple with me begging him to stop. He berated Joyless calling him names and telling him how worthless he was. It was heartbreaking. I was scared and felt hopeless. There was nowhere to turn and no one seemed to care. It was frustrating and deep inside I knew that there just had to be a better way. I lived for the day I could leave.
It was sometimes difficult to know when the real world was truly real. I lived on starships that sang and planets where all beings lived in peace. Blurring of the lines between the mundane activities of daily living and that of transporting to new worlds was not uncommon.
But even fantasy worlds have their drawbacks. The problem with having a visual thought process is that as the words come, so do the visions that the words describe. You can say you saw a pansy. I then see the pansy. My mind conjures up the deep purple and the pale white that goes to make up the illusion of a face. I see the deep yellows and can almost smell and touch my vision. There are things that I cannot listen to because of the vivid imagery of my own thought processes, but I can watch them and feel little. I can see the reality without truly experiencing it.
When certain shows are narrated, my desire to quiet their voice is enormous. If they describe a horrific murder, I experience it in my mind and it haunts me for days. On the other hand if I witness something first hand, I know what has happened and have no desire to mentally embellish it.
My life as a child was, how do I say it, interesting? Sexual abuse conjures up the image of a child being penetrated by an adult. I do not recall that particular thing happening to me. But, there are things that happened that I wish I did not have to forget.
My father had just returned me to my mother. It was something akin to returning a defective hair dryer. I was 13 when my mother met and married Three. I have to admit that I thought he was nice looking and since I was an aspiring artist, I drew pictures of his face and gave them to my mother.
I used to scratch his back. He lay on the floor and I would sit on his lower back and scratch his back. I did not know what that was doing to him and my mother never should have allowed it to be done. He was laying there on the floor becoming aroused while I sat on his rear end and scratched his back.
There was one time that I was thankful for having gas. Oh, I was not thankful at the time, but looking back I think it kept me out of trouble for a while. It happened one day while I was sitting on him and scratching his back. I farted. It was not one of those girly ones either. It was a big fat loud one. It was one of those that made a 13 year old hide their head in shame for days! I never sat on his back again.
There was no HBO or cable or satellite television in those days. There were maybe 3 channels if your antenna was pointed in the right direction. Fifty years ago a 13 year old had not seen sex on TV nor in the movies. I was not living in such advanced times and had no clue as to what made a man do what men did. I had no desire to know either. I liked my somewhat sheltered life.
I would still scratch his back from time to time but never like before. But, looking back, I can see that he never quit trying. There was never a time when I was ever considered as being athletic, but my joints were nimble and I could do contortions that most people could not do. When he found that out, he asked me to do it often, until I just tired of being a trained animal.
When we moved out of state to the mountains, I thought things would be better. He was taking Mom, my brother and myself to his home in West Virginia. It was there that fantasy turned to horror.
Mom was pregnant with my little sister. As mom grew larger in her pregnancy, things between her and Three got worse. The fights were louder and his lechery started showing up more. We were living in a 1 bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor. Joyless slept on the roll away bed. I slept on the sofa. Mom and Three shared the bedroom. And then it started.
Three, "Joyless, come here! If you look through the keyhole, you can see your sister in the bathtub!"
Mom, "Three, your perverted son of a bitch!! Stop it!! Leave her alone! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!!" She yelled at him constantly about everything and her yelling came to mean nothing to him.
I had just started undressing when I heard the commotion on the other side of the door. I hung a towel over the keyhole, made sure the door was locked and continued with my bath. I made sure that I was never alone with him and then there was little brother to worry about.
The drama begins. Three comes home from - wherever (work, bar, it does not matter). They fight and suddenly he is choking Mom yelling at her, "I WISH YOU'D LOSE THAT DAMN BABY!!!"
Joyless and I run over to him and start hitting on him yelling and trying to make him stop. He does stop. The neighbors yell and they scream at each other and it is over as suddenly as it started. Mom can still breathe and life goes on.
It was a Saturday. I know because it was cold outside and brother and I were home. Mom wanted to knock him out when he came home. He was becoming increasingly erratic in his behavior. You never knew what would set him off.
Mom was anxious and looking furtively about the kitchen. "I need something to knock him out."
I handed her the iron skillet. She said, "That should do it."
She held it in her had for a few seconds and handed it back to me saying, "It might kill him. I don't want to kill him, just knock him out!"
I thought about what she said as I put the skillet away and thought to myself, "So what? What difference would it make?"
She finally handed me a bottle and asked me to fill it with sand. I took the bottle and put rocks and sand and some water in it trying to make it as heavy as possible. By the time I got back upstairs her plan had changed and she had 2 boards leaning against the wall. I have no idea where she got them, but there they were. Once she decided what she was going to do, we settled down, ate dinner and waited.
When he finally got home, she met him at the door and asked him where he had been. They started arguing and swearing at each other. As the argument escalated, she moved backward to where the boards were leaning against the wall. She picked up one and slammed him hard against the side of the head. He stood there looking at her, stunned for just a few seconds. She raised it again and as she was about to connect a second time, he laughed at her. He took the board from her and broke it in half across his knee while he laughed.
My heart sank and all I could think was that she should have used the skillet.
"What the Hell's wrong with you, Spet?" was all he said as he walked past her.
It was just too weird. Nothing phased that man. I was in shock, but there was no time for wondering what would happen next. He just wanted to play cards.
I hated playing cards with him especially when he lost. He just started swearing and throwing things and it was just a mess. Once he just took the cards and threw them up in the air. Joyless and I picked up the cards when he left the room and try as hard as we could, we could not find 5 of the cards. We looked everywhere. When I lay down on the sofa to sleep, I looked up and they were hanging on the chandelier.
President Kennedy was assassinated that year. The baby was born shortly after and we called her Lost Innocence. Three sent Joyless to the bar with a note that said, "Give this boy a bottle of beer." and scrawled his name. Three came home drunk one time. I remember that well. It was close to Christmas.
Three said he was going to his brother's house to do something. About 1:30 that morning, someone propped him against the door and the high heels clicked down the hall as he banged on the door. Mom got up and went to the door.
"I love ya, Spet." and he threw up. "Ya know I lub ya." and he threw up again. She managed to guide him to the bathroom and hollered at me to clean up the mess and she would give me a dollar.
I managed to get it cleaned up. I would have done it anyway without the dollar. I loved my mother and felt sorry for her. I tried to go to sleep, when Mom asked me to help her get him into the tub. By the time I got to the door, she had him in the tub. I stood by the door when she turned on the cold water. The tub was an old tub and the faucet was one that stood straight out instead of curving down like modern faucets. The ice cold water hit him full force right in the crotch. He would have jumped clear out of the tub if he had not been so drunk.
I went back to bed and listened. She got him out of the tub and led him into the bedroom. I got up to see the carnage and noticed blood all over the place. She told me he had come home with his hand cut. It was quiet for a while. She went into the kitchen and brought out a butcher knife. I shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep.
Nothing was stirring the next morning and I went to the bathroom. There was blood on the walls and all over the tub. I used the toilet quietly and silently walked the few steps to the bedroom door following the drops of blood. I looked in and saw Mom lying on the bed awake. Three was hog-tied and asleep beside her. There were splotches of blood everywhere. It was not too long after I glanced in that Three started to stir, choking himself as he tried to straighten up. There was a pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. They were all either torn or cut up.
It did not take long to find out what had transpired the night before.
You could see the fear awaken on his face as he tried to look at himself and he screamed, "What've you done? You crazy bitch! What'd ya do ta me?" I had to stifle a laugh as he continued to rant and simultaneously choke himself.
There was the 6 foot 1, 185 pound crazy man tied up like the pig he was, screaming like a baby. Yes, I thought it was funny. My 5 foot 7, 100 pound mom had him in a real bad way and I was hoping she would leave him that way.
When he calmed down and she had had enough fun, she brought the knife close to his face and gave him one of those looks. It was a look that said, "You are mine and I can do what I want with you. You can't guess what I'm gonna do next." When he thought he was going to die, she took the knife and cut the rope setting him free. He was still hung over so he was in no shape to start any fights. He was too busy checking body parts to cause any trouble.
Mom had cut up the clothes that she could not tear in half. The only clothes that he had to wear were the clothes he wore home that belonged to his brother and a pair of shorts and old torn T-shirt that was in the laundry basket.
Yes, we were just one big happy family. All that happened in just 2 months. Intermixed with all of that was Three's hatred of Joyless. He choked him holding him against the wall all the while watching him turn purple with me begging him to stop. He berated Joyless calling him names and telling him how worthless he was. It was heartbreaking. I was scared and felt hopeless. There was nowhere to turn and no one seemed to care. It was frustrating and deep inside I knew that there just had to be a better way. I lived for the day I could leave.
Did You Ever Wonder What Would Cause the General Populace to Chose a Maniac?
Massive unemployment is a vital necessity to fuel the winds of change. But, what will those winds smell like?
Suppose we had 30% unemployment and our industrial production had fallen 40% below its level in 2000. Then throw in a little dose of the Shanghai and the Hong Kong Stock Exchanges simultaneously collapse. How much does our economy depend upon foreign stock markets?
Now let us look at a way out of this mess. What would it take? For one, it would take a charismatic leader who could unite the country. It would take someone who could evoke an aura of confidence and it would only take one achievement to launch a new way of life. If he opened a factory or industry that put 75% of the unemployed to work within weeks or even months, people would flock to him like flies to flypaper.
How long would it take before he would be unanimously installed as leader without the benefit of an actual election? Would people care what his background was? Would they ask where he came from? Would it matter? Would anyone really care about anything as long as he put people to work and the economy was getting better by leaps and bounds?
This has happened before. It was pre-World War II Germany and the man was Adolf Hitler.
Suppose we had 30% unemployment and our industrial production had fallen 40% below its level in 2000. Then throw in a little dose of the Shanghai and the Hong Kong Stock Exchanges simultaneously collapse. How much does our economy depend upon foreign stock markets?
Now let us look at a way out of this mess. What would it take? For one, it would take a charismatic leader who could unite the country. It would take someone who could evoke an aura of confidence and it would only take one achievement to launch a new way of life. If he opened a factory or industry that put 75% of the unemployed to work within weeks or even months, people would flock to him like flies to flypaper.
How long would it take before he would be unanimously installed as leader without the benefit of an actual election? Would people care what his background was? Would they ask where he came from? Would it matter? Would anyone really care about anything as long as he put people to work and the economy was getting better by leaps and bounds?
This has happened before. It was pre-World War II Germany and the man was Adolf Hitler.
What Is The U S Protecting Itself From?
http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2010/10/military_spending
The above article brings up some interesting points about cutting military spending. As with any government run entity, there is, no doubt, spending that could be cut. The United States does try to defend the world and keep the trade lanes open.
After World War II we (the Allied Forces which included the Soviets) signed an occupation treaty with Japan that forbade them to engage in any type of war or to maintain any type of armed forces. In order for them to remain without an army the allied forces agreed to house troops in Okinawa and other territories that were once under their control.
It was not until 1952 that a peace treaty was signed and Japan's Self Defense Force was established in 1954. The Self Defense Force consists of Ground, Maritime and Air Defenses. The post-war constitution forbids Japan from settling international disputes through the use of military means.
How much money do you think that the Japanese have not spent on military matters while they have been forbidden from maintaining a war machine?
My view is becoming more border-centered as it is becoming increasingly more obvious that whatever we do for these other countries to liberate them from their backward ways and spread democracy to the unwashed masses is basically unwanted by those masses.
What would be wrong with taking a break from making sure that people are free (which I am not too sure that they want said freedom in the first place). Have you noticed that many of the countries that we are now leaving will shortly be returning to a slightly modified version of what they had before we spent all that blood, sweat and tears there?
Let us look at the muslim countries that we have helped. How much do we really know about Islam?
The following is an excerpt form http://muslim-canada.org/Islam_myths.htm. This is the list of most serious crimes of the qur'an. Once we remove all our troops and the locals are able to sort out what they actually want, how many moderates do you think there will actually be?
Hadd crimes have fixed punishments because they are set by God and are found in the Qur’an. Hadd crimes are crimes against God's law and Tazir crimes are crimes against society. There are some safeguards for Hadd crimes that many in the media fail to mention. Some in the media only mention that if you steal, your hand is cut off. The Islamic judge must look at a higher level of proof and reasons why the person committed the crime. A judge can only impose the Hadd punishment when a person confesses to the crime or there are enough witnesses to the crime. The usual number of witnesses is two, but in the case of adultery four witnesses are required. The media often leaves the public with the impression that all are punished with flimsy evidence or limited proof. Islamic law has a very high level of proof for the most serious crimes and punishments. When there is doubt about the guilt of a Hadd crime, the judge must treat the crime as a lesser Tazir crime. If there is no confession to a crime or not enough witnesses to the crime, Islamic law requires the Hadd crime to be punished as a Tazir crime.
How long did it take for Iran to go from a moderately free society to being ruled by the taliban? And the United States was a friend to Iran. We had a great deal invested there. Not so much anymore.
I believe in a strong military force. The maintenance of such a force is vital to our defense, but how much defense do we actually have of our own borders? Our National Guard is the first to be sent to hot-spots, which is beyond my meager understanding. Why is it we have no money to spend on border patrols?
Why is it we are so afraid of a little protectionism? Protecting one's own borders is not an indefensible position and I do not understand why we cannot do more of it.
Is it so difficult for politicians to understand that us pampered, prima donna, Americans who are privileged beyond belief are still worthy of support and protection from their own government? Apparently they are more concerned with redistribution of wealth in order to level the playing field and have us live like third world countries. That probably would not be a bad idea if it were our choice. The President and Congress is making that decision for us with new laws and regulations and a failure to control the borders. When will we wake up and smell the poverty?
The government has already begun taxing us into oblivion and wants more from us. Did you know that Obama feels that the government should be able to tax the citizens at a 100% rate as long as we get the services we require? The government wants to control every aspect of our life from the cradle to the grave and we stand by and watch it happen. The President and his cohorts have already said that they can do a better job of spending our money than we can. That is why we have higher taxes. It is no wonder that we (the United States citizens) garner no respect from nations with much less per capita than we have. We are arrogant and lazy and through apathy we are being overcome by the noxious fumes of government out of control.
We do need to change, but we need to do it as individuals not as mandated by some socialist bureaucrat within our own government.
The above article brings up some interesting points about cutting military spending. As with any government run entity, there is, no doubt, spending that could be cut. The United States does try to defend the world and keep the trade lanes open.
After World War II we (the Allied Forces which included the Soviets) signed an occupation treaty with Japan that forbade them to engage in any type of war or to maintain any type of armed forces. In order for them to remain without an army the allied forces agreed to house troops in Okinawa and other territories that were once under their control.
It was not until 1952 that a peace treaty was signed and Japan's Self Defense Force was established in 1954. The Self Defense Force consists of Ground, Maritime and Air Defenses. The post-war constitution forbids Japan from settling international disputes through the use of military means.
How much money do you think that the Japanese have not spent on military matters while they have been forbidden from maintaining a war machine?
My view is becoming more border-centered as it is becoming increasingly more obvious that whatever we do for these other countries to liberate them from their backward ways and spread democracy to the unwashed masses is basically unwanted by those masses.
What would be wrong with taking a break from making sure that people are free (which I am not too sure that they want said freedom in the first place). Have you noticed that many of the countries that we are now leaving will shortly be returning to a slightly modified version of what they had before we spent all that blood, sweat and tears there?
Let us look at the muslim countries that we have helped. How much do we really know about Islam?
The following is an excerpt form http://muslim-canada.org/Islam_myths.htm. This is the list of most serious crimes of the qur'an. Once we remove all our troops and the locals are able to sort out what they actually want, how many moderates do you think there will actually be?
Hadd Crimes
Hadd crimes are those which are punishable by a pre-established punishment found in the Qur’an. These most serious of all crimes are found by an exact reference in the Qur’an to a specific act and a specific punishment for that act. There is no plea-bargaining or reducing the punishment for a Hadd crime. Hadd crimes have no minimum or maximum punishments attached to them. The punishment system is comparable to the determinate sentence imposed by some judges in the United States. If you commit a crime, you know what your punishment will be. There is no flexibility in the U.S. determinate model or in the punishment for Hadd crimes of Islamic Law. No judge can change or reduce the punishment for these serious crimes. The Hadd crimes are:1. Murder;The first four Hadd crimes have a specific punishment in the Qur’an. The last three crimes are mentioned but no specific punishment is found (Schmalleger, p.603). Some more liberal Islamic judges do not consider apostasy from Islam or wine drinking as Hadd crimes. The more liberal Islamic nations treat these crimes as Tazir or a lesser crime.
2. Apostasy from Islam 1. (making war upon Allah and His messengers)
1. Theft
2. Adultery
3. Defamation
2. (false accusation of adultery or fornication)
1. Robbery
2. Alcohol-drinking [any intoxicants]
Hadd crimes have fixed punishments because they are set by God and are found in the Qur’an. Hadd crimes are crimes against God's law and Tazir crimes are crimes against society. There are some safeguards for Hadd crimes that many in the media fail to mention. Some in the media only mention that if you steal, your hand is cut off. The Islamic judge must look at a higher level of proof and reasons why the person committed the crime. A judge can only impose the Hadd punishment when a person confesses to the crime or there are enough witnesses to the crime. The usual number of witnesses is two, but in the case of adultery four witnesses are required. The media often leaves the public with the impression that all are punished with flimsy evidence or limited proof. Islamic law has a very high level of proof for the most serious crimes and punishments. When there is doubt about the guilt of a Hadd crime, the judge must treat the crime as a lesser Tazir crime. If there is no confession to a crime or not enough witnesses to the crime, Islamic law requires the Hadd crime to be punished as a Tazir crime.
How long did it take for Iran to go from a moderately free society to being ruled by the taliban? And the United States was a friend to Iran. We had a great deal invested there. Not so much anymore.
I believe in a strong military force. The maintenance of such a force is vital to our defense, but how much defense do we actually have of our own borders? Our National Guard is the first to be sent to hot-spots, which is beyond my meager understanding. Why is it we have no money to spend on border patrols?
Why is it we are so afraid of a little protectionism? Protecting one's own borders is not an indefensible position and I do not understand why we cannot do more of it.
Is it so difficult for politicians to understand that us pampered, prima donna, Americans who are privileged beyond belief are still worthy of support and protection from their own government? Apparently they are more concerned with redistribution of wealth in order to level the playing field and have us live like third world countries. That probably would not be a bad idea if it were our choice. The President and Congress is making that decision for us with new laws and regulations and a failure to control the borders. When will we wake up and smell the poverty?
The government has already begun taxing us into oblivion and wants more from us. Did you know that Obama feels that the government should be able to tax the citizens at a 100% rate as long as we get the services we require? The government wants to control every aspect of our life from the cradle to the grave and we stand by and watch it happen. The President and his cohorts have already said that they can do a better job of spending our money than we can. That is why we have higher taxes. It is no wonder that we (the United States citizens) garner no respect from nations with much less per capita than we have. We are arrogant and lazy and through apathy we are being overcome by the noxious fumes of government out of control.
We do need to change, but we need to do it as individuals not as mandated by some socialist bureaucrat within our own government.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
We Get What We Deserve
A lot of people have their nickers in a knot because of the President, either because of who he is or because of what he has accomplished or NOT accomplished while he has been in office. Guess what! We got what we deserved. When you either fail to pay attention or your apathy and indifference overwhelms the already overtaxed cranial matter, you get what you deserve by default.
There is a direct correlation between a lack of voter enthusiasm and the one who is elected to office. The less enthusiasm on the part of the American public, the more likely the public is to get a man elected who is neither pro-American nor pro-capitalism.
When you think about it, assuming that any of us actually think, you realize that there is only one thing to do. GET INVOLVED! It is not that difficult to understand.
There are those in the Christian community who think that any involvement in politics is tantamount to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic while it is sinking. While there is a part of me that thinks that may be a superlative description of our country's status, the other part of me realizes that someone has to man the lifeboats and that is what our involvement should be.
I believe that we must do all that we can to sound the alarm. While we may be on the brink of destruction or even the Rapture, we should do whatever is in our power to turn the tide.
Remember the story of the starfish? The beach was just covered with starfish and a little girl was picking up one after another and putting them back in the ocean.
A passerby asked her why she was doing that?
She answered that she was saving them.
The passerby chuckled and told her that she could not possibly return but a small number compared to the huge number stranded on the beach and that it really would not matter.
Her answer to him was simple. "It matters to the ones I save."
So, what do we do? Do we rearrange the deck chairs or do we man the lifeboats?
If we do not man the lifeboats then we go down with the rest who have no clue. Only one more question. Are you clueless or gutless? Sometimes you just have to do something. You have to take a deep breath and take that first step.
There is a direct correlation between a lack of voter enthusiasm and the one who is elected to office. The less enthusiasm on the part of the American public, the more likely the public is to get a man elected who is neither pro-American nor pro-capitalism.
When you think about it, assuming that any of us actually think, you realize that there is only one thing to do. GET INVOLVED! It is not that difficult to understand.
There are those in the Christian community who think that any involvement in politics is tantamount to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic while it is sinking. While there is a part of me that thinks that may be a superlative description of our country's status, the other part of me realizes that someone has to man the lifeboats and that is what our involvement should be.
I believe that we must do all that we can to sound the alarm. While we may be on the brink of destruction or even the Rapture, we should do whatever is in our power to turn the tide.
Remember the story of the starfish? The beach was just covered with starfish and a little girl was picking up one after another and putting them back in the ocean.
A passerby asked her why she was doing that?
She answered that she was saving them.
The passerby chuckled and told her that she could not possibly return but a small number compared to the huge number stranded on the beach and that it really would not matter.
Her answer to him was simple. "It matters to the ones I save."
So, what do we do? Do we rearrange the deck chairs or do we man the lifeboats?
If we do not man the lifeboats then we go down with the rest who have no clue. Only one more question. Are you clueless or gutless? Sometimes you just have to do something. You have to take a deep breath and take that first step.
Santa Claus and Other Lies Christians Teach Their Children
Why do adults insist upon telling children to believe in Santa Claus? In fact, why are Christian parents in particular guilty of this nonsense?
Childhood is difficult enough without finding out that your parents are liars. Is life so dreadful, so distasteful that adults have to teach their children to believe in fantasies? What happens when you try to tell them about Jesus and Scripture and Creation? Will they view that as just another fantasy? Will it be just another lie that they have to listen to?
Saint Nicholas was a real person, but he died centuries ago. There is no fat man in a red suit bringing toys to good and bad children alike. The toys come from misguided parents who shower toys upon ungrateful children for no good reason at all. These parents have either worked and save all year to throw this money away or they will be working for the next 5 years to pay off the plastic used for this idiocy.
What is wrong with giving a child or anyone else a present that says it came from someone who loves them and thought he or she would like to have this? What is wrong with one gift instead of a roomful? What is wrong with giving a child time instead of crap?
Let us not forget about Halloween. What are you thinking? Trunk or Treat as an alternative to Halloween? That does not even make sense. How does getting dressed up as a Biblical character on a Satanic holiday differ from dressing up as Burger King? Have a Bible study instead. For pity's sake, get a grip on the faith of your fathers unless, of course, Satan is your father. If that is the case, get on your knees and plead for God to open your heart and draw you to Him.
Then there is the Easter bunny. When did rabbits start laying eggs? Why are we promoting heathen fertility symbols on a day that is supposed to be a celebration of THE LORD rising from the dead? Have Christians totally lost their minds? Easter is a word that originates from the Teutonic dawn goddess of fertility which was known by a variety of names such as Ostare, Ostara, Ostern, Eostra, Eostre, Eostur, Eastra, Eastur, Austron and Ausos. Her name was derived from the ancient word for spring: "eastre." Call it Resurrection Day instead.
Then there is the wide variety of fairies, leprechauns, elves and other non-human entities or demons that we teach our children to believe in. Why not spend that time teaching them tangible truths about Jesus Christ? It is no wonder the youth of today have difficulty believing in anything that adults try to tell them about the Bible. Adults spend entirely too much time convincing them about garbage that they eventually find out for themselves is untrue. Why do we expect our youth to believe anything we say?
Great scholars wonder why the youth of today go off to college and find the pagan religions so enticing. I see a great schism in what we want them to learn and what we teach them. We spend years talking to them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and other fairy tales. We spend that hour in church teaching about the Bible. I am sorry. I meant to say 15 minutes (you have to take into account all the time devoted to announcements and singing and the perfunctory joke to loosen things up). We have got to get our act together people. Dispense with all the nonsense and teach them the truth!
Here is a case in point. A child of 7 or 8 is standing around several adults.
"What is Santa Claus bringing you for Christmas?" asked Church Lady 1.
"Oh, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus!" exclaimed the Church Lady 2
"Is that true, Child?" inquired Sunday School Teacher.
"Yes, it is," said Child with great confidence.
"He doesn't believe in anything." said Church Lady 2.
"Yes, he does. He believes in Jesus as his Saviour." stated one who was, until that moment, an observer.
"There is no need for him to believe in anything else."
This did not take place anywhere but right up front where the preacher stands inside the walls of a Christian church building. The child had recently been saved and baptized. He no longer felt the need for fairy tales.
Why do we Christians feel the need to push the dope of disbelief upon our children?
Childhood is difficult enough without finding out that your parents are liars. Is life so dreadful, so distasteful that adults have to teach their children to believe in fantasies? What happens when you try to tell them about Jesus and Scripture and Creation? Will they view that as just another fantasy? Will it be just another lie that they have to listen to?
Saint Nicholas was a real person, but he died centuries ago. There is no fat man in a red suit bringing toys to good and bad children alike. The toys come from misguided parents who shower toys upon ungrateful children for no good reason at all. These parents have either worked and save all year to throw this money away or they will be working for the next 5 years to pay off the plastic used for this idiocy.
What is wrong with giving a child or anyone else a present that says it came from someone who loves them and thought he or she would like to have this? What is wrong with one gift instead of a roomful? What is wrong with giving a child time instead of crap?
Let us not forget about Halloween. What are you thinking? Trunk or Treat as an alternative to Halloween? That does not even make sense. How does getting dressed up as a Biblical character on a Satanic holiday differ from dressing up as Burger King? Have a Bible study instead. For pity's sake, get a grip on the faith of your fathers unless, of course, Satan is your father. If that is the case, get on your knees and plead for God to open your heart and draw you to Him.
Then there is the Easter bunny. When did rabbits start laying eggs? Why are we promoting heathen fertility symbols on a day that is supposed to be a celebration of THE LORD rising from the dead? Have Christians totally lost their minds? Easter is a word that originates from the Teutonic dawn goddess of fertility which was known by a variety of names such as Ostare, Ostara, Ostern, Eostra, Eostre, Eostur, Eastra, Eastur, Austron and Ausos. Her name was derived from the ancient word for spring: "eastre." Call it Resurrection Day instead.
Then there is the wide variety of fairies, leprechauns, elves and other non-human entities or demons that we teach our children to believe in. Why not spend that time teaching them tangible truths about Jesus Christ? It is no wonder the youth of today have difficulty believing in anything that adults try to tell them about the Bible. Adults spend entirely too much time convincing them about garbage that they eventually find out for themselves is untrue. Why do we expect our youth to believe anything we say?
Great scholars wonder why the youth of today go off to college and find the pagan religions so enticing. I see a great schism in what we want them to learn and what we teach them. We spend years talking to them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and other fairy tales. We spend that hour in church teaching about the Bible. I am sorry. I meant to say 15 minutes (you have to take into account all the time devoted to announcements and singing and the perfunctory joke to loosen things up). We have got to get our act together people. Dispense with all the nonsense and teach them the truth!
Here is a case in point. A child of 7 or 8 is standing around several adults.
"What is Santa Claus bringing you for Christmas?" asked Church Lady 1.
"Oh, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus!" exclaimed the Church Lady 2
"Is that true, Child?" inquired Sunday School Teacher.
"Yes, it is," said Child with great confidence.
"He doesn't believe in anything." said Church Lady 2.
"Yes, he does. He believes in Jesus as his Saviour." stated one who was, until that moment, an observer.
"There is no need for him to believe in anything else."
This did not take place anywhere but right up front where the preacher stands inside the walls of a Christian church building. The child had recently been saved and baptized. He no longer felt the need for fairy tales.
Why do we Christians feel the need to push the dope of disbelief upon our children?
Life Goes On
Life was never just life. It was filled with drama, violence, distrust and those were the good days. The bad days were brief but burned deeply.
Uncle Perv, the uncle who should have been eliminated many years before had a dirty little secret. It was not that he was old and his feet stank. They stank so bad that his wife did not sleep with him and if his bedroom door was open the smell permeated the rest of the apartment. He was an alcoholic. He drank only on the weekend but he drank from the time the factory whistle blew until he fell asleep on Sunday night.
The thing about Uncle Perv and Aunt Oblivious is that they fit together so well. He worked and she worked and they lived in squalor. Every penny that he made went to alcohol. He drank up his entire check during those two short days. The electricity was generally disconnected due to none payment. They lived with kerosene lamps for light and wood-burning stoves for heat. There was an ice plant where they would pick up a block of ice and keep milk and other perishables in an ice chest.
The cockroaches ran rampant. At night when the lights were out and the place was silent, you could hear them scurry. If you walked into the kitchen with a lamp, you could see not dozens, but hundreds run from sight. Hot water for bathing was heated on one of the wood stoves. Every now and then Aunt Oblivious would pay a bill and the lights would be turned on.
There is a peculiarity of growing up around perverts and those who turn and look the other way. If they really see it; if they truly acknowledge what is going on, they might actually be required to do something about it. So, it is every child for themselves. My mother knew he was a pervert. I knew without knowing for years that this was the case. The reality of my knowing was proven when my mother told me that they all knew what he was. She told me that when I finally had a child of my own.
There was some kind of gathering at their upstairs apartment. From my perspective as a 6-year-old there were a lot of people there. There were other children and this was the first time that I remember being there. My uncle called me to him. He lifted me up on his lap. He smiled at me and put his hand under my dress and his fingers went ... I knew instantly that this was wrong and suddenly I heard my mother yell at me to get over there. I knew that I had done something wrong. The whole interchange probably took less than thirty seconds. That was all it took to start a chain of events that stole my innocence.
She said, "I told you to stay away from him! He's a dirty old man! Why can't you listen to me! I ought to whip your ass!" That was Mom. She handled things the only way she knew how. It was nothing less than effective.
You can bet that little interchange taught me a lot. I did something wrong. My mother wanted to punish me and I would try my best to stay away from Uncle Perv from now on. The truth would come out, but it would take almost thirty years.
Everyone in the family either knew from personal experience or from anecdotal evidence that Uncle Perv was a pedophile. No one ever called him that. They just did the best they could to keep their children away from him. He never got reported, that I know of. They blamed the alcohol. They blamed his wife. They blamed the children. They blamed the weather, the time of day and the wind. They blamed everyone and everything but him.
How adults reconciled the avoidance of this issue with the damage that was being done to their children and to others is something I never found out because no one ever spoke openly of it. It was the family's personal disgrace. Much later in life whenever I asked anyone about him and his nefarious deeds, they looked at me like I had lost my mind. So, I never verbalized anything until people started dying off. The perpetrator is dead and gone, but the effects of his perversion live on in his prey and their descendants.
Where do I go from here? Well, let us go into the hallowed halls of first grade. It was a time of learning, a time of wonder. It was a time of wondering how adults got control of things.
I had a best friend. Best was the closest thing to a sister that I ever had. She, too, had a little brother and his name was Typical. He was just a little brother that hung around when we did not want him to and kind of made a nuisance of himself.
My little brother, Joyless, was a bit different. His father hated him. Well, maybe he did not hate him. Mom told stories of how his father had wanted to leave him at the hospital when he was born. When his father asked her who the Joyless' father was, she would lash out in anger and tell him that the child belonged to his father.
An example of Two's dislike of his own son was dinner. Joyless and dinner time were not friends. There were so few dinners without an argument, that I think I only want to remember a happy dinner. I only assume that, statistically speaking, in all those years, there had to be at least one happy dinner.
Typically, dinner went something like this. Mom and Two would come home from work. They would change clothes arguing about who did what to whom on the way to work and on the way home. While Mom cooked dinner, they would argue about grapes; about what to watch on TV; about Grandma and Grandpa living with them; about sandstorms in the desert; about anything.
Then it was dinner when the real fun began. Joyless was a picky eater and had medical problems. On of those problems was his blood's inability to coagulate properly. That made him a free bleeder. Joyless just never knew when to stop.
He would say, "I can't eat that." or "Don't like that." or maybe just make the yuk face. And with that the battle was on.
His father would say, "Eat it!"
Joyless, "NO!"
Two, "I SAID EAT IT!!"
The exclamation mark came as a slap to the face. Then the blood from his nose pooled on his plate. His father was still yelling at him to eat it.
Mom would say something calming like, "Are you happy now, you son of a bitch?" Mom was never silent on matters of the safety of her children. Unfortunately she knew little about how to deal with these things or how to truly keep her children safe, but she tried.
When he was about 5 Joyless would look at his father and say, "Are you happy now?" That comment would bring on a tirade between the parents with the grandparents getting up and marching off to their room, slamming the door and turning on their TV.
Learning to eat without looking up was the only way that dinner was palatable. Mom was a good cook and the food was good, but the chaos was unnerving and, like change, it was a constant in life as we knew it.
We were the first ones in the apartment building to get a color television. Joyless was enamored with the inner workings and every time the repairman came to work on it, he was right there asking questions about the inner workings. It was not too long before he wanted to take things apart to see how they worked and then try to put them back together. When he got it right, all was well with the world. When he got it wrong, there was Hell to pay.
It was the belt or the switch or the fist. You always wanted her to have the switches nearby. They stung pretty bad, but they did not hurt nearly as bad as that belt or her fist.
Uncle Perv, the uncle who should have been eliminated many years before had a dirty little secret. It was not that he was old and his feet stank. They stank so bad that his wife did not sleep with him and if his bedroom door was open the smell permeated the rest of the apartment. He was an alcoholic. He drank only on the weekend but he drank from the time the factory whistle blew until he fell asleep on Sunday night.
The thing about Uncle Perv and Aunt Oblivious is that they fit together so well. He worked and she worked and they lived in squalor. Every penny that he made went to alcohol. He drank up his entire check during those two short days. The electricity was generally disconnected due to none payment. They lived with kerosene lamps for light and wood-burning stoves for heat. There was an ice plant where they would pick up a block of ice and keep milk and other perishables in an ice chest.
The cockroaches ran rampant. At night when the lights were out and the place was silent, you could hear them scurry. If you walked into the kitchen with a lamp, you could see not dozens, but hundreds run from sight. Hot water for bathing was heated on one of the wood stoves. Every now and then Aunt Oblivious would pay a bill and the lights would be turned on.
There is a peculiarity of growing up around perverts and those who turn and look the other way. If they really see it; if they truly acknowledge what is going on, they might actually be required to do something about it. So, it is every child for themselves. My mother knew he was a pervert. I knew without knowing for years that this was the case. The reality of my knowing was proven when my mother told me that they all knew what he was. She told me that when I finally had a child of my own.
There was some kind of gathering at their upstairs apartment. From my perspective as a 6-year-old there were a lot of people there. There were other children and this was the first time that I remember being there. My uncle called me to him. He lifted me up on his lap. He smiled at me and put his hand under my dress and his fingers went ... I knew instantly that this was wrong and suddenly I heard my mother yell at me to get over there. I knew that I had done something wrong. The whole interchange probably took less than thirty seconds. That was all it took to start a chain of events that stole my innocence.
She said, "I told you to stay away from him! He's a dirty old man! Why can't you listen to me! I ought to whip your ass!" That was Mom. She handled things the only way she knew how. It was nothing less than effective.
You can bet that little interchange taught me a lot. I did something wrong. My mother wanted to punish me and I would try my best to stay away from Uncle Perv from now on. The truth would come out, but it would take almost thirty years.
Everyone in the family either knew from personal experience or from anecdotal evidence that Uncle Perv was a pedophile. No one ever called him that. They just did the best they could to keep their children away from him. He never got reported, that I know of. They blamed the alcohol. They blamed his wife. They blamed the children. They blamed the weather, the time of day and the wind. They blamed everyone and everything but him.
How adults reconciled the avoidance of this issue with the damage that was being done to their children and to others is something I never found out because no one ever spoke openly of it. It was the family's personal disgrace. Much later in life whenever I asked anyone about him and his nefarious deeds, they looked at me like I had lost my mind. So, I never verbalized anything until people started dying off. The perpetrator is dead and gone, but the effects of his perversion live on in his prey and their descendants.
Where do I go from here? Well, let us go into the hallowed halls of first grade. It was a time of learning, a time of wonder. It was a time of wondering how adults got control of things.
I had a best friend. Best was the closest thing to a sister that I ever had. She, too, had a little brother and his name was Typical. He was just a little brother that hung around when we did not want him to and kind of made a nuisance of himself.
My little brother, Joyless, was a bit different. His father hated him. Well, maybe he did not hate him. Mom told stories of how his father had wanted to leave him at the hospital when he was born. When his father asked her who the Joyless' father was, she would lash out in anger and tell him that the child belonged to his father.
An example of Two's dislike of his own son was dinner. Joyless and dinner time were not friends. There were so few dinners without an argument, that I think I only want to remember a happy dinner. I only assume that, statistically speaking, in all those years, there had to be at least one happy dinner.
Typically, dinner went something like this. Mom and Two would come home from work. They would change clothes arguing about who did what to whom on the way to work and on the way home. While Mom cooked dinner, they would argue about grapes; about what to watch on TV; about Grandma and Grandpa living with them; about sandstorms in the desert; about anything.
Then it was dinner when the real fun began. Joyless was a picky eater and had medical problems. On of those problems was his blood's inability to coagulate properly. That made him a free bleeder. Joyless just never knew when to stop.
He would say, "I can't eat that." or "Don't like that." or maybe just make the yuk face. And with that the battle was on.
His father would say, "Eat it!"
Joyless, "NO!"
Two, "I SAID EAT IT!!"
The exclamation mark came as a slap to the face. Then the blood from his nose pooled on his plate. His father was still yelling at him to eat it.
Mom would say something calming like, "Are you happy now, you son of a bitch?" Mom was never silent on matters of the safety of her children. Unfortunately she knew little about how to deal with these things or how to truly keep her children safe, but she tried.
When he was about 5 Joyless would look at his father and say, "Are you happy now?" That comment would bring on a tirade between the parents with the grandparents getting up and marching off to their room, slamming the door and turning on their TV.
Learning to eat without looking up was the only way that dinner was palatable. Mom was a good cook and the food was good, but the chaos was unnerving and, like change, it was a constant in life as we knew it.
We were the first ones in the apartment building to get a color television. Joyless was enamored with the inner workings and every time the repairman came to work on it, he was right there asking questions about the inner workings. It was not too long before he wanted to take things apart to see how they worked and then try to put them back together. When he got it right, all was well with the world. When he got it wrong, there was Hell to pay.
It was the belt or the switch or the fist. You always wanted her to have the switches nearby. They stung pretty bad, but they did not hurt nearly as bad as that belt or her fist.
Would You Vote for Donald Trump for President?
Watching Fox News in the morning was not what I expected I would ever be doing. I am not a big news fan but, for the past few weeks, it has become part of my daily routine. Fox has the best point of view for me and they have some interesting guests.
This morning they had a phone conversation with Donald Trump and he said that he was seriously considering running for President in the next election. He is appalled at the direction the country is taking and he thinks it could be run better.
He is well known. He can buy all the special interest groups he wants. He runs his businesses profitably. Yes, he has been married more than once and he probably has done some things that we do not approve of. But, he does seem to be a better choice than any that are thinking about running at this time. He is also a Republican and said he would run as one.
What do you think?
Does he have a heart for the average American?
Better yet, do you think he knows how to put us back to work?
Do you think he knows how to balance a budget?
I think he might be someone to watch and see where this goes.
Would you vote for Donald Trump for President?
This morning they had a phone conversation with Donald Trump and he said that he was seriously considering running for President in the next election. He is appalled at the direction the country is taking and he thinks it could be run better.
He is well known. He can buy all the special interest groups he wants. He runs his businesses profitably. Yes, he has been married more than once and he probably has done some things that we do not approve of. But, he does seem to be a better choice than any that are thinking about running at this time. He is also a Republican and said he would run as one.
What do you think?
Does he have a heart for the average American?
Better yet, do you think he knows how to put us back to work?
Do you think he knows how to balance a budget?
I think he might be someone to watch and see where this goes.
Would you vote for Donald Trump for President?
Would You Lie to a Child? Part II
It was February 22, 1992 when my life was changed finally for the better. I remember it clearly because it had taken 42 years to reach this point. It happened about 7:30 pm. I saw it just as clearly as the flowers on a spring morning. It was the most marvelous experience that anyone could possibly know.
There was nothing that could have prepared me for the transformation. It was exciting and peaceful all at once and I KNEW! I knew the truth. I could never go back. I was indeed transformed.
The time since I was 6 was spent either fully engrossed in the Bible and God's teachings or fully engrossed with a vaguely guilty conscience following the flesh or the world with abandon (mostly the latter). Drugs, sex and alcohol had all been done with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Witchcraft, seances, eastern religions, new age religious affectations (yoga, meditation, etc.) I studied, looked into or tried most of it. I even charted horoscopes for people as well as taking college courses in parapsychology. I was even involved with a couple of main stream churches that taught half truths and raised themselves up as spreading the Gospel when, in fact, the gospel they spread was a different gospel and one not of GOD.
I went to college and learned about religious beliefs. You do not know what is being fed to your children in college. I did experiments with my mother reading cards (telling fortunes). I hooked up electrodes to her head and kept track of the brain wave activity during the reading. People really do that sort of foolishness. That was 30 years ago and that sort of thing has not declined.
I thought sometimes that I had been forgotten. I was in so deep that there appeared to be no way out. There is no point in citing specific examples of my poor behavior. The tendency of people is to say, "I haven't done anything that bad so I'm okay." The fact is that no one is "okay." We have all sinned and fall short of the Glory of GOD.
There has to be a standard to strive for outside of humanity. To gauge oneself by another human standard is futile. There will always be someone better or worse than ourselves. The only viable standard would be that of GOD. How do we know what GOD wants? How do we know what His standards are?
Those were the questions that I had to have answered for my own satisfaction. Then one day, I picked up a Book. It is a very controversial Book.
I looked at that Bible and thought to myself, "If so many people have tried to destroy it and it's still around, there has to be something to it. It has not changed substantially in 2,000 years. There has to be something to it."
And, of course, there is something to it. How can there not be? I started reading from page 1. I read the introduction, the pronunciation guide. I read everything. I read every available moment. And I cannot say that it was all riveting and I just could not put it down. I did put it down, many times. But I was simply drawn back to it. I had to find out what was so big that people had died for a BOOK!
The road to simply reading the Bible was fraught with frustration and confusion. How could it be that the answers to the Universe and the Will of God is in this BOOK? When I got to the book of Job, it was almost painful to read it was so frustrating. I got on my knees and asked Whoever was out there what was in there that was so important.
That is when I started listening to that still, small voice within me. It kept telling me to go to the New Testament. I did not want to and I kept disregarding that suggestion and I just kept getting more frustrated.
Finally, I said, to no one in particular, "All right! I'll start in the New Testament!" And I picked up that Bible and reluctantly started reading with Matthew 1:1. I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and was starting in John when the frustration level rose even though I knew I was on the right track.
It was in the third chapter of John that I saw it. I have trouble committing to one particular verse, but the whole third chapter opened my heart. That is when I saw it. I saw my sins nailed to the cross of Christ. The Peace that came over me was almost unbearable. I had never been at peace in my entire 42 years, and at that moment I knew why. This was my personal experience with the GOD and Creator of the Universe and that is how it HAS to be.
It has to be a personal experience with Him; not a priest, not a preacher, but GOD Almighty. No man can save you. No man has the ability to take away sin with the exception of One, GOD Incarnate. Jesus of Nazareth was born for one reason and one reason alone. He was born to die, to shed His blood for my sin. No one else could do that. It had to be the Son of GOD. He had to be sinless. He had to be the highest standard. He had to be The One!! There was no other choice.
I will never be perfect in this world. I rely on Him to bring me through each day. I still pull away from him from time to time. My testimony is not a shining example of what a Christian is supposed to be. What is different now than what I did before my rebirth? I am miserable when I am away from Him. When I do things that I know are an embarrassment to him, my conscience bothers me. That was not the case before.
Before, I felt a little twinge, but it was no big deal. I knew I was doing wrong. I even knew it was a sin, but it did not really matter.
Now, it matters. For Him to go through the agony of crucifixion for me and for me to do things that bring shame to Him is a travesty. I do not do the things that I used to do. I do not want to do them. The desire for those things has passed. The things that I do now that I feel are hurting Him are not reading His Word daily, not having communion with Him and not attending church regularly to Worship Him. Even though watching trash on TV may not hurt anyone but me, it takes away from my time with Him.
My priorities have changed and I am happier for it. I am finally at Peace and you can be, too.
You can have a relationship with HIM as well. It is not difficult to do. You simply have to want HIM. Open that dreaded BOOK and read it. Let it speak to you. Let HIM draw you to HIM.
So when I ask you if you will lie to a child, will you? Will you tell them that they are okay and they do not need to worry or will you tell them the truth about having a relationship with Jesus the Messiah? Remember that if they are old enough to understand and ask the question, they are old enough to go to Hell. Will you be responsible for sending a child to Hell? If I had died after I knew I was going to Hell, I surely would have been frying for eternity. It would have made no difference if I had been 7 or 37. I knew. I asked. I was told lies and bigger lies.
Will you lie to a child?
There was nothing that could have prepared me for the transformation. It was exciting and peaceful all at once and I KNEW! I knew the truth. I could never go back. I was indeed transformed.
The time since I was 6 was spent either fully engrossed in the Bible and God's teachings or fully engrossed with a vaguely guilty conscience following the flesh or the world with abandon (mostly the latter). Drugs, sex and alcohol had all been done with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Witchcraft, seances, eastern religions, new age religious affectations (yoga, meditation, etc.) I studied, looked into or tried most of it. I even charted horoscopes for people as well as taking college courses in parapsychology. I was even involved with a couple of main stream churches that taught half truths and raised themselves up as spreading the Gospel when, in fact, the gospel they spread was a different gospel and one not of GOD.
I went to college and learned about religious beliefs. You do not know what is being fed to your children in college. I did experiments with my mother reading cards (telling fortunes). I hooked up electrodes to her head and kept track of the brain wave activity during the reading. People really do that sort of foolishness. That was 30 years ago and that sort of thing has not declined.
I thought sometimes that I had been forgotten. I was in so deep that there appeared to be no way out. There is no point in citing specific examples of my poor behavior. The tendency of people is to say, "I haven't done anything that bad so I'm okay." The fact is that no one is "okay." We have all sinned and fall short of the Glory of GOD.
There has to be a standard to strive for outside of humanity. To gauge oneself by another human standard is futile. There will always be someone better or worse than ourselves. The only viable standard would be that of GOD. How do we know what GOD wants? How do we know what His standards are?
Those were the questions that I had to have answered for my own satisfaction. Then one day, I picked up a Book. It is a very controversial Book.
I looked at that Bible and thought to myself, "If so many people have tried to destroy it and it's still around, there has to be something to it. It has not changed substantially in 2,000 years. There has to be something to it."
And, of course, there is something to it. How can there not be? I started reading from page 1. I read the introduction, the pronunciation guide. I read everything. I read every available moment. And I cannot say that it was all riveting and I just could not put it down. I did put it down, many times. But I was simply drawn back to it. I had to find out what was so big that people had died for a BOOK!
The road to simply reading the Bible was fraught with frustration and confusion. How could it be that the answers to the Universe and the Will of God is in this BOOK? When I got to the book of Job, it was almost painful to read it was so frustrating. I got on my knees and asked Whoever was out there what was in there that was so important.
That is when I started listening to that still, small voice within me. It kept telling me to go to the New Testament. I did not want to and I kept disregarding that suggestion and I just kept getting more frustrated.
Finally, I said, to no one in particular, "All right! I'll start in the New Testament!" And I picked up that Bible and reluctantly started reading with Matthew 1:1. I read Matthew, Mark, Luke and was starting in John when the frustration level rose even though I knew I was on the right track.
It was in the third chapter of John that I saw it. I have trouble committing to one particular verse, but the whole third chapter opened my heart. That is when I saw it. I saw my sins nailed to the cross of Christ. The Peace that came over me was almost unbearable. I had never been at peace in my entire 42 years, and at that moment I knew why. This was my personal experience with the GOD and Creator of the Universe and that is how it HAS to be.
It has to be a personal experience with Him; not a priest, not a preacher, but GOD Almighty. No man can save you. No man has the ability to take away sin with the exception of One, GOD Incarnate. Jesus of Nazareth was born for one reason and one reason alone. He was born to die, to shed His blood for my sin. No one else could do that. It had to be the Son of GOD. He had to be sinless. He had to be the highest standard. He had to be The One!! There was no other choice.
I will never be perfect in this world. I rely on Him to bring me through each day. I still pull away from him from time to time. My testimony is not a shining example of what a Christian is supposed to be. What is different now than what I did before my rebirth? I am miserable when I am away from Him. When I do things that I know are an embarrassment to him, my conscience bothers me. That was not the case before.
Before, I felt a little twinge, but it was no big deal. I knew I was doing wrong. I even knew it was a sin, but it did not really matter.
Now, it matters. For Him to go through the agony of crucifixion for me and for me to do things that bring shame to Him is a travesty. I do not do the things that I used to do. I do not want to do them. The desire for those things has passed. The things that I do now that I feel are hurting Him are not reading His Word daily, not having communion with Him and not attending church regularly to Worship Him. Even though watching trash on TV may not hurt anyone but me, it takes away from my time with Him.
My priorities have changed and I am happier for it. I am finally at Peace and you can be, too.
You can have a relationship with HIM as well. It is not difficult to do. You simply have to want HIM. Open that dreaded BOOK and read it. Let it speak to you. Let HIM draw you to HIM.
So when I ask you if you will lie to a child, will you? Will you tell them that they are okay and they do not need to worry or will you tell them the truth about having a relationship with Jesus the Messiah? Remember that if they are old enough to understand and ask the question, they are old enough to go to Hell. Will you be responsible for sending a child to Hell? If I had died after I knew I was going to Hell, I surely would have been frying for eternity. It would have made no difference if I had been 7 or 37. I knew. I asked. I was told lies and bigger lies.
Will you lie to a child?
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Would You Lie to a Child? Part I
What would you do if you thought you finally had the answer that would put all of mankind at peace? Would you tell them or just be glad that you had the answer and they could hunt it on their own?
Would you tell it even if no one believed you? Would fear of embarrassment keep you from letting them know?
If a child asked you how to get to Heaven, would you tell them or pat them on their head and send them on their way? Would you say something insipid like, "You're too young and cute to be worrying about that!"
I was 6 when I first heard about Hell and fire and brimstone and that old favorite, sin. It was then that I knew I was a sinner and I was going to Hell. There were many people that I asked about how to get to Heaven and they were either ignorant of the answer or they had absolutely no clue either.
"You are a good little girl. Don't worry about that stuff."
"What are you doing thinking about things like that?"
"Dear, there's no need for you to concern yourself about that. You have plenty of time to find out about that."
There were other responses, but they all went about the same. The problem was that I was already smart enough to know that what they said was a lie. There was a feeling in the depth of my soul that told me I was bound for Hell and it appeared that no one here on earth knew the answer and could tell me how to get to Heaven.
It is a deeply disturbing and heavy burden to carry at the age of 6 to know that Hell is just ahead and it does not appear that anyone knows how to avoid it. I lived with that knowledge, the knowledge that if I died I would go to Hell, for the next 36 years. I did not dwell on it or suffer deep emotional distress about it. I just knew it. I knew it in a way that was child-like, which was good since I was a child. I would lay in the grass and stare up at the sky. I knew that I was here on earth only until my parents came and got me. The fact of the matter was that I was waiting for my Father in Heaven. I knew that eventually I would be with Him.
Somehow, through it all, I knew that GOD had not deserted me. In fact, he kept me from getting killed on at least 2 occasions. For some reason, He protected me. He was waiting for me. I did not know that at the time. It was later when I was 42 that I knew He had been drawing me to Him all that time.
All that the Father has given Him, He will lose none.
There were many events that drew me closer to God. but I always seemed to pull away before I actually grabbed hold of Him. You see, I believe it is up to us to go to Him when He calls. He will not lose us, but we will lose all that fellowship that we could have had if we had only gone to Him sooner. I went to Sunday school every chance I got. I even studied and went to classes when I was not made to go. I knew who He was, but every time I got close to Him, the Devil, the flesh or the world would distract me and I would pull away.
All those years, the many times that I gave up on Him, He never gave up on me. I called on Him in my misery when I thought I was close to death and He caught me and tried to show me His Peace. Until I could quit trying to save myself and make my life better; until I was at the end of myself, the end of my own rope; I would think that I could do it without Him.
The time came when I knew that only He could give me what I wanted - the Peace that passes all understanding.
Would you tell it even if no one believed you? Would fear of embarrassment keep you from letting them know?
If a child asked you how to get to Heaven, would you tell them or pat them on their head and send them on their way? Would you say something insipid like, "You're too young and cute to be worrying about that!"
I was 6 when I first heard about Hell and fire and brimstone and that old favorite, sin. It was then that I knew I was a sinner and I was going to Hell. There were many people that I asked about how to get to Heaven and they were either ignorant of the answer or they had absolutely no clue either.
"You are a good little girl. Don't worry about that stuff."
"What are you doing thinking about things like that?"
"Dear, there's no need for you to concern yourself about that. You have plenty of time to find out about that."
There were other responses, but they all went about the same. The problem was that I was already smart enough to know that what they said was a lie. There was a feeling in the depth of my soul that told me I was bound for Hell and it appeared that no one here on earth knew the answer and could tell me how to get to Heaven.
It is a deeply disturbing and heavy burden to carry at the age of 6 to know that Hell is just ahead and it does not appear that anyone knows how to avoid it. I lived with that knowledge, the knowledge that if I died I would go to Hell, for the next 36 years. I did not dwell on it or suffer deep emotional distress about it. I just knew it. I knew it in a way that was child-like, which was good since I was a child. I would lay in the grass and stare up at the sky. I knew that I was here on earth only until my parents came and got me. The fact of the matter was that I was waiting for my Father in Heaven. I knew that eventually I would be with Him.
Somehow, through it all, I knew that GOD had not deserted me. In fact, he kept me from getting killed on at least 2 occasions. For some reason, He protected me. He was waiting for me. I did not know that at the time. It was later when I was 42 that I knew He had been drawing me to Him all that time.
All that the Father has given Him, He will lose none.
There were many events that drew me closer to God. but I always seemed to pull away before I actually grabbed hold of Him. You see, I believe it is up to us to go to Him when He calls. He will not lose us, but we will lose all that fellowship that we could have had if we had only gone to Him sooner. I went to Sunday school every chance I got. I even studied and went to classes when I was not made to go. I knew who He was, but every time I got close to Him, the Devil, the flesh or the world would distract me and I would pull away.
All those years, the many times that I gave up on Him, He never gave up on me. I called on Him in my misery when I thought I was close to death and He caught me and tried to show me His Peace. Until I could quit trying to save myself and make my life better; until I was at the end of myself, the end of my own rope; I would think that I could do it without Him.
The time came when I knew that only He could give me what I wanted - the Peace that passes all understanding.
We Have Chosen to be Unfaithful
Unfaithful means to not adhere to vows, allegiance or duty according to "Merriam-Webster". In general, this country has chosen to be unfaithful to the itself. We have whored around with the beliefs and laws of other nations and become a travesty of our former glory.
We have given up freedom to be safe and we deserve neither. It is to our dismay that we have become a caricature of that once great nation.
"How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle!" An ancient phrase apropos for our time except we did not fall in battle. They will walk in, take over and we will not know what happened.
Do you remember studying "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire" in high school? If you are my age, you should. If you are under the age of 40, you probably studied the "rise of rock and roll and its influence on American culture" or some other such foolishness. The Roman Empire was spread across the known world. Everyone at that time thought they ruled the entire world.
What was the reason for their speedy decline? They did not lose a huge war. They lost because they lost themselves. The family unit was trashed. It became "legal" for everyone to do "what was right in their own eyes" and it destroyed them. They got so busy having fun and getting more and more bizarre that they failed to pay attention to their own country disintegrating around them. It was more important for their leaders to be following their own desires and lusts than it was to govern.
Historically speaking, most countries do not last more than two or three hundred years. If we paid any attention to history we might actually be trying to break that record by seeing why they failed and not do what they did. We cannot do that. Why? Because we are insane. For the past 75 years we have blindly followed the same road with little variance. We are intent upon murdering our children in the womb, spending money that we do not have and promoting pornography and sexual perversion in the form of worthless movies and television. And guess what? We keep doing the same thing with more intensity and expecting different results. That is the definition of insanity.
Our children and grand-children wandering around today, just want to be "happy." A good 80% have no idea what liberty we have already lost because they have been indoctrinated in public school to accept the decline of liberty as a normal course of events in our ever changing world. Don't you know that we are a member of the global community? We have to be green or we are not good global citizens. Our main goal is to take care of mother earth. Human beings are a blight upon the earth that should be eradicated in order to allow the earth to evolve and follow its natural path.
If you don't think that this is being pushed on children every day, just watch TV with them. Pay attention to the message. Get out the text books and help them with their homework and ask them if there are any books that they cannot bring home.
You might be surprised and you might just get an added bonus of spending time with your children.
Open your eyes. Open your ears. Pay attention to the message. See what is going on out there. Find out what the issues are and VOTE. Vote your conscience and vote for people who will do the same for the good of the country.
The government should be providing for the national defense and it does not appear that this one task is even on their agenda.
We have given up freedom to be safe and we deserve neither. It is to our dismay that we have become a caricature of that once great nation.
"How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle!" An ancient phrase apropos for our time except we did not fall in battle. They will walk in, take over and we will not know what happened.
Do you remember studying "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire" in high school? If you are my age, you should. If you are under the age of 40, you probably studied the "rise of rock and roll and its influence on American culture" or some other such foolishness. The Roman Empire was spread across the known world. Everyone at that time thought they ruled the entire world.
What was the reason for their speedy decline? They did not lose a huge war. They lost because they lost themselves. The family unit was trashed. It became "legal" for everyone to do "what was right in their own eyes" and it destroyed them. They got so busy having fun and getting more and more bizarre that they failed to pay attention to their own country disintegrating around them. It was more important for their leaders to be following their own desires and lusts than it was to govern.
Historically speaking, most countries do not last more than two or three hundred years. If we paid any attention to history we might actually be trying to break that record by seeing why they failed and not do what they did. We cannot do that. Why? Because we are insane. For the past 75 years we have blindly followed the same road with little variance. We are intent upon murdering our children in the womb, spending money that we do not have and promoting pornography and sexual perversion in the form of worthless movies and television. And guess what? We keep doing the same thing with more intensity and expecting different results. That is the definition of insanity.
Our children and grand-children wandering around today, just want to be "happy." A good 80% have no idea what liberty we have already lost because they have been indoctrinated in public school to accept the decline of liberty as a normal course of events in our ever changing world. Don't you know that we are a member of the global community? We have to be green or we are not good global citizens. Our main goal is to take care of mother earth. Human beings are a blight upon the earth that should be eradicated in order to allow the earth to evolve and follow its natural path.
If you don't think that this is being pushed on children every day, just watch TV with them. Pay attention to the message. Get out the text books and help them with their homework and ask them if there are any books that they cannot bring home.
You might be surprised and you might just get an added bonus of spending time with your children.
Open your eyes. Open your ears. Pay attention to the message. See what is going on out there. Find out what the issues are and VOTE. Vote your conscience and vote for people who will do the same for the good of the country.
The government should be providing for the national defense and it does not appear that this one task is even on their agenda.
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