What would you do if you thought you finally had the answer that would put all of mankind at peace? Would you tell them or just be glad that you had the answer and they could hunt it on their own?
Would you tell it even if no one believed you? Would fear of embarrassment keep you from letting them know?
If a child asked you how to get to Heaven, would you tell them or pat them on their head and send them on their way? Would you say something insipid like, "You're too young and cute to be worrying about that!"
I was 6 when I first heard about Hell and fire and brimstone and that old favorite, sin. It was then that I knew I was a sinner and I was going to Hell. There were many people that I asked about how to get to Heaven and they were either ignorant of the answer or they had absolutely no clue either.
"You are a good little girl. Don't worry about that stuff."
"What are you doing thinking about things like that?"
"Dear, there's no need for you to concern yourself about that. You have plenty of time to find out about that."
There were other responses, but they all went about the same. The problem was that I was already smart enough to know that what they said was a lie. There was a feeling in the depth of my soul that told me I was bound for Hell and it appeared that no one here on earth knew the answer and could tell me how to get to Heaven.
It is a deeply disturbing and heavy burden to carry at the age of 6 to know that Hell is just ahead and it does not appear that anyone knows how to avoid it. I lived with that knowledge, the knowledge that if I died I would go to Hell, for the next 36 years. I did not dwell on it or suffer deep emotional distress about it. I just knew it. I knew it in a way that was child-like, which was good since I was a child. I would lay in the grass and stare up at the sky. I knew that I was here on earth only until my parents came and got me. The fact of the matter was that I was waiting for my Father in Heaven. I knew that eventually I would be with Him.
Somehow, through it all, I knew that GOD had not deserted me. In fact, he kept me from getting killed on at least 2 occasions. For some reason, He protected me. He was waiting for me. I did not know that at the time. It was later when I was 42 that I knew He had been drawing me to Him all that time.
All that the Father has given Him, He will lose none.
There were many events that drew me closer to God. but I always seemed to pull away before I actually grabbed hold of Him. You see, I believe it is up to us to go to Him when He calls. He will not lose us, but we will lose all that fellowship that we could have had if we had only gone to Him sooner. I went to Sunday school every chance I got. I even studied and went to classes when I was not made to go. I knew who He was, but every time I got close to Him, the Devil, the flesh or the world would distract me and I would pull away.
All those years, the many times that I gave up on Him, He never gave up on me. I called on Him in my misery when I thought I was close to death and He caught me and tried to show me His Peace. Until I could quit trying to save myself and make my life better; until I was at the end of myself, the end of my own rope; I would think that I could do it without Him.
The time came when I knew that only He could give me what I wanted - the Peace that passes all understanding.
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