I have been going through 60 years of clutter. It is not like the shows about HOARDING, but still it is a lot more than necessary. Over the past 5 years or so, I have managed to get it down to part of one room.
It is still a lot. The habits that got me to the point of collecting stuff that I now regard as pretty much useless have gone by the wayside as I have aged.
The stuff I thought I would save for my child for when he grew up and married has pretty much been pared down to what I gave him and his new wife for a wedding present. The broken toys I kept to fix when I had the time have finally (after 25 years) been discarded. The material I bought to make him some play clothes will either be sold in my yard sale or made into something very different. As time passed and several moves around the country took place, stuff got packed away only to resurface long after the need for it had passed. So, now I have it and knowledge. I have the knowledge that it is no longer needed.
About 15 years ago, we had a bonfire. We were burning debris from the lot that we acquired for our trailer. My spiritual life had taken a turn for the better in February of 1992. I came to know THE LORD JESUS CHRIST as my personal Saviour. It was now March 1993. When the fire was started, I added books to the mix and there were many, about 6 moving boxes full and more. Most were science fiction and there were other non-Christian books as well. I even had a satanic bible.
As the fire started burning, my husband got a call to go to work. There was a 10 foot or more wide fire break around the stuff being burned. The pile itself was about 20 feet in diameter and probably 6 feet or higher in the middle. If you have ever burned a stack of paper or books, you know that they have to be separated in order to burn completely. There was no cause for concern about the fire getting away from the lot nor burning anything down and my in-laws said they would watch the fire for us since they lived next door to the empty lot.
We were not able to stay and watch the fire, but I was going to go back the next morning to check on it and restart it. I knew all those books would not be burned completely. When I arrived the next morning, there was nothing there. It did not even look like anything had been burned. There were no books, no portions of books, there was nothing left, not even an ash pile.
My assumption, after quizzing everyone who lived next to the property, was (and still is) that THE LORD sent a HOLY fire which consumed everything. No one saw the fire that consumed. It was amazing. It was unexplained. No fire department put out the fire. It simply came. It burned what was necessary. It did the job and stopped. There was no explosion. There was no wind. There was no rain. There was not a cloud in the sky for days. There was nothing remarkable except that it happened.
My heart wanted to rid my self, my mind and my heart of the trash that I had accumulated. I wanted to obey THE LORD and keep the distracting things of the world away from me and I could not in good conscience give those books away nor could I donate them to the library. If they were not fit for me to keep, they were not fit for anyone else, particularly the unsaved.
Somehow, I have lost that single-minded desire. I have not strayed into sin, but still the first blush of new love has left and it is tough to regain. I know whom I love, but the flesh is weak. The Spirit longs for the time spent with my Saviour, learning about HIM, following HIM. I allowed too much to come between us. It was work. It was family. It was even church work. I had less and less time for HIM.
Scripture tells us that the time will come when there is a falling away. I often wonder exactly what that means. I have heard several explanations, but I wonder if it is not more personal.
I must return to my purging. Maybe that will help rid myself of wasted time.
Shalom. Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Do You Feel Safe?
A friend of mine went to a celebration of 67th wedding anniversary. What a commitment!
What makes a strong relationship? From my experience it is not through experimentation. It is not through jumping the gun and becoming intimate at the drop of a hat. One night stands and multiple marriages do not foster good relationships.
Patience, waiting until marriage to share yourself with someone, is a big item. Did I wait? No. I had more than one marriage and I can tell you all the things you can do to mess things up. The biggest one is throwing away a gift that you have to give and can give only once. Yes, I am talking about your virginity. It is something that once you lose you can never get back. You can never give it twice. Once it is gone, it is - gone. The same is true for a man.
When you do find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, do you want to go to your marriage bed with all the dreams and aspirations of everyone you have previously had sex with? Or, do you want to share the newness of life and all the dreams to come with one person?
The problem today is that virginity is not highly regarded. It is often regarded as a nuisance to be dispensed with as soon as one finds a willing "partner." It is thought of as outmoded. It is old fashioned. It is unnecessary. We have lost the value of love. We often regard sex as simply a way to release frustration and we lose the closeness and the wonder of it all.
We have lost that feeling of safety. What if this one is the same as all the rest? How many have there been? Two? Three? Five? Ten? Twenty-five? A hundred? How does one feel safe when one knows what he or she has done and is secretly wondering if the other has done the same, more or less?
How do you feel safe when you are wondering if they will be there in the morning? How do you feel safe wondering if you need to get checked for STDs? How do you feel safe wondering if they will share your pillow talk with their co-workers or team-mates?
Do you physically share yourself on the first date? Maybe the second date? Maybe without a date? Did you get their name?
It really is not a matter of what makes you feel good right now. Ice cream makes me feel good, but I have not formed a life-long commitment to it.
Where do you get your advice for maintaining a relationship? Do you get it from other people with failed relationships or do you go to someone who has a long term marriage?
Do you keep doing the same thing with every man or woman you meet? Do you expect different results? Have you had a psych evaluation? If you do the same thing over and over and expect different results, then maybe you need to have your head examined. That is the true meaning of insanity. It is also what the US government does each year. You see what kind of mess we are in as a result. The same thing is true with relationships.
If you have been having sex with all your mates and it is not working, that ought to tell you something. Sex, good, bad or indifferent, is NOT the way to get a long term relationship started. Even if you have been doing it for years, you can put on the brakes and do things differently. It is not going to hurt you to try. You are not doing so great as it is. It worked for me.
My husband and I have celebrated our 19th year together as husband and wife. We were living together when I got saved. At that moment, I said we would not be together again until we got married. It was not a problem for me. My husband (then lover) was confused, but willingly went along with my desire to remain totally sex free until we were married. At that time, we had lived together for almost 2 years.
When he asked me why, I told him that GOD did not like what we were doing and it had to stop. Period, end of discussion. I thought it would be horrible. It was not bad at all. It was refreshing to know that I could have a man interested in something other than that and really, truly know for sure.
We are human beings with control over ourselves. We are not animals. We know the difference between right and wrong and we can control our emotions and our physical desires. You can do it. It is not the end of the world to wait for sexual expression and to only have it within marriage. In fact it is much, much better than without a secure marriage. The flesh does not have to have control over us.
You can feel safe in a relationship, but you have to know your boundaries. Holding hands leads to hugging which leads to kissing which leads to touching things that are better left alone until after marriage.
If a man or woman tells you that they do not want to be intimate until after marriage, respect that and wait. It will not kill you. It will help. Follow Scriptural guidelines for relationships and it will be better. It worked for me. My only regret is that this revelation came so late in life.
Shalom. Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.
What makes a strong relationship? From my experience it is not through experimentation. It is not through jumping the gun and becoming intimate at the drop of a hat. One night stands and multiple marriages do not foster good relationships.
Patience, waiting until marriage to share yourself with someone, is a big item. Did I wait? No. I had more than one marriage and I can tell you all the things you can do to mess things up. The biggest one is throwing away a gift that you have to give and can give only once. Yes, I am talking about your virginity. It is something that once you lose you can never get back. You can never give it twice. Once it is gone, it is - gone. The same is true for a man.
When you do find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, do you want to go to your marriage bed with all the dreams and aspirations of everyone you have previously had sex with? Or, do you want to share the newness of life and all the dreams to come with one person?
The problem today is that virginity is not highly regarded. It is often regarded as a nuisance to be dispensed with as soon as one finds a willing "partner." It is thought of as outmoded. It is old fashioned. It is unnecessary. We have lost the value of love. We often regard sex as simply a way to release frustration and we lose the closeness and the wonder of it all.
We have lost that feeling of safety. What if this one is the same as all the rest? How many have there been? Two? Three? Five? Ten? Twenty-five? A hundred? How does one feel safe when one knows what he or she has done and is secretly wondering if the other has done the same, more or less?
How do you feel safe when you are wondering if they will be there in the morning? How do you feel safe wondering if you need to get checked for STDs? How do you feel safe wondering if they will share your pillow talk with their co-workers or team-mates?
Do you physically share yourself on the first date? Maybe the second date? Maybe without a date? Did you get their name?
It really is not a matter of what makes you feel good right now. Ice cream makes me feel good, but I have not formed a life-long commitment to it.
Where do you get your advice for maintaining a relationship? Do you get it from other people with failed relationships or do you go to someone who has a long term marriage?
Do you keep doing the same thing with every man or woman you meet? Do you expect different results? Have you had a psych evaluation? If you do the same thing over and over and expect different results, then maybe you need to have your head examined. That is the true meaning of insanity. It is also what the US government does each year. You see what kind of mess we are in as a result. The same thing is true with relationships.
If you have been having sex with all your mates and it is not working, that ought to tell you something. Sex, good, bad or indifferent, is NOT the way to get a long term relationship started. Even if you have been doing it for years, you can put on the brakes and do things differently. It is not going to hurt you to try. You are not doing so great as it is. It worked for me.
My husband and I have celebrated our 19th year together as husband and wife. We were living together when I got saved. At that moment, I said we would not be together again until we got married. It was not a problem for me. My husband (then lover) was confused, but willingly went along with my desire to remain totally sex free until we were married. At that time, we had lived together for almost 2 years.
When he asked me why, I told him that GOD did not like what we were doing and it had to stop. Period, end of discussion. I thought it would be horrible. It was not bad at all. It was refreshing to know that I could have a man interested in something other than that and really, truly know for sure.
We are human beings with control over ourselves. We are not animals. We know the difference between right and wrong and we can control our emotions and our physical desires. You can do it. It is not the end of the world to wait for sexual expression and to only have it within marriage. In fact it is much, much better than without a secure marriage. The flesh does not have to have control over us.
You can feel safe in a relationship, but you have to know your boundaries. Holding hands leads to hugging which leads to kissing which leads to touching things that are better left alone until after marriage.
If a man or woman tells you that they do not want to be intimate until after marriage, respect that and wait. It will not kill you. It will help. Follow Scriptural guidelines for relationships and it will be better. It worked for me. My only regret is that this revelation came so late in life.
Shalom. Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.
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