I was called a "stuck up b..." by an addict

"stuck up bitch oh yea that wil makw mw feel better or do better to b around people who think their s*** dont stink no thanks"

Yep!  I was called that and more.  The funny part is, I came from that.  That family.  That mentality.  That area.  That trash talking.  That immorality.  That drug culture lifestyle.  Was never addicted to drugs, but don't recall much else being off-limits to me.

So, in a way, that young person is right.  I do have an elevated view of myself.  Why not?  Why should one continue to regard oneself as unchanged when they are, in fact, changed?  

I've lost 65 pounds of fat.  Would it be considered ridiculous if I continued to look at myself at 200 pounds, wore the same clothes, buckled my seat belt in the same place, struggled to tie my shoes and continued to complain that I couldn't walk around the block without getting winded?  Of course it would!!

Then why is it so outlandish that I act different because I no longer dress trashy; no longer act trashy; no longer engage in trashy behavior; and married and stayed with the same man for 23 years?  

Because, it's not my problem.  It's their problem.  They look at me and see what they could be and they are angry because they know they have to change to become better than they are.  They have to give up their love affair with drugs, alcohol and sex.  But they don't want to.  They are miserable as they are but will fight to the death to remain as they are.

"What is happy? Idk how that even feels anymore...."

"if people can't understand then dnt. I'm getting better!!!"

"some people just need to learn and be able to care about themselves before they can even start to get any better... thats what's helping me is helping myself..."

When I was growing up there were 2 things I knew I couldn't do and live.  Number 1 was back-talk my mother.  Number 2 was change who I was.  It wasn't until I moved away and continued to grow that I realized that I could become different.  I could change.  I didn't have to have a mouth like a toilet.  I could get a better job than just minimum wage.  I could get educated.  I didn't have to lay down with dogs and get fleas.  I didn't have to cast my pearls before swine and roll in swill.  I could be better than I was in spite of my surroundings, in spite of the people who raised me.  I didn't have to get drunk and get in fights.  It wasn't a "given."  It wasn't "set in stone."

When you change your circumstances or you take your circumstances and use them to better yourself, there will be those who say you are "stuck up" and "you think you're better than everyone."   What they are really saying is they are jealous of your success.  They hate you because they see what they could be if they only did one thing different, but they refuse.

Why do they refuse to change?  Who knows.  Sometimes the people around them hold them back.  All the pleading they do for them to change is a facade for the chains they have on them.  They may even think that no one could possibly help them so the addict is way better with them.   After all, if the addict went away, they may not have anyone else to feel better than.

You know you've hit a nerve when all they can do is get mad and cuss you.  Ah, but when they want drug money, they will forget your past transgressions and come crying about wanting to change and all they need is $150 - $400 for this wonder drug that will help them past their addiction  to heroin or pain killers or whatever.  They don't hate you.  They don't love you.  The fact of the matter is, they will say or do anything to maintain their habit and you are just a tool to get more money to feed their arm or their nose.

And if they are with someone who doesn't like you, they won't like you either.  Until they need you and they will need you again. 

I copied the following from a post on Facebook:

To all parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and anyone who cares about anyone who is an addict. Please read this. It wasn't sent to me either, but I know young and old who are addicts and you need to know this.
If you have time read this, It was not sent to me but it sure stirs the nerves when this goes on so much in the world.
I NEED to get high,
I am not your child, or spouse, or friend. I’ve changed. I don’t belong to you any more. I don’t care about you. Not in the way you want me too. I care about getting high. I WANT to get high. I will do ANYTHING to get high. I LOVE getting high. I NEED to get high.. and I will step over you to do it. When I look at you, I don’t see YOU. I see a means to an end. You have money. I want it. End of story. I don’t care if you can’t pay the rent. I don’t care if you need groceries. I don’t care if you promised you wouldn’t give me money again. I don’t care if you lie to Dad. I don’t care if you’re broke. Sell your rings, take a loan, sell your electronics, max out your credit cards, borrow the money from someone else, because if you don’t, I will STEAL it. I WILL find a way to get HIGH. You think you can CHANGE me, or SAVE me. You are WRONG! Something cold and dead slithers within me. I no longer respond to love or truth. You can CRY all you want. I don’t care. I have no integrity or values. My morals are a thing of the past. I will say anything, do anything, and hurt anyone, to get my next FIX.

Although I may play the game with you, make no mistake. I don’t play it because I LOVE you, I play it because I want my DOPE. I will say what ever you want to hear, I will promise you the world, I will look you in the eyes, and I WILL break your heart. I don’t have a heart any more. I have a HUNGER. It’s calculating and manipulative, and it OWNS me.

In a strange way you’re thankful for my hunger. For when I feel it coming on, I find you, quick! Then when I’ve gotten what I want from you, I leave. You’re anxious without me. So you phone me and offer to buy my food, or pay my rent. You always GIVE me something.

By now, your NEED is almost as great as mine.  I can’t stay SICK without you. You can’t breath without ME.  You think you’re helping me. You believe you’re making a difference, but what you’re really helping… is my ADDICTION.

I won’t tell you this, but you know it, deep down.  If we keep going like this, one or both of us will die. Me from an overdose, that you paid for, and you from a heart attack, or stroke.

You’ll wait YEARS for me to change, or see the light, and I will take full advantage of this.

You will keep my secrets and protect my lies. You will clean up my messes and bail me out. You’ll love me to the exclusion of EVERYONE else.  You will become bitter and resentful. You will hide from your friends and isolate. You will HATE.

Your world will revolve around one thing only… ME.  But will your LOVE ever become greater than your FEAR? Would you be strong enough to reach out for help? Will you learn to say NO? Will you allow me to experience the consequences of my actions? Will you LOVE me enough to feel your OWN discomfort and stop enabling my ADDICTION?

I lay trapped with within the confines, of this dark cold, serpent -addiction, and I am, waiting…

The end?  Hardly.

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Evil in The Church House

Sounds odd to say that there is evil in the place where people go to worship THE LORD.  But the fact is that evil lives and prospers within the walls of that arena.

Evil comes through the doors in many forms.  Sometimes it waltzes in the door and teaches the youth.  It brings its own particularly special kind of salacious attitude to the youth.  When a young married woman becomes enamored with another man, a man who should have been taught better, and they make their relationship public, flaunting it for all the congregation to see, it teaches the youth that adultery is okay and fornication is winked at by the Church.

Evil comes through the doors in the form of Elders and Deacons.  The older silver-tongued man who fancies himself a ladies man and indiscriminately makes passes at younger women thinking that with his position and his assumed "favor" with GOD he can be forgiven these little indiscretions.  After all, it really isn't hurting anyone.  He's not really going to follow through, right?   What difference does it make, indeed?  [Matthew 5:28  But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.]

Evil comes through the door in the form of the sweet and kindly elderly woman who has decided that it would be financially more favorable to shack up with her man-friend than to marry.  The example is set that fornication or even just the appearance of evil is winked at by the Church.  [1Thessalonians 5:22  Abstain from all appearance of evil.]

Evil comes through the door laced with pride and bolstered by idolatry.   [Proverbs 16:18  Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.]  

"We don't need a preacher!" will be an attitude of some.  And that attitude begs the question, why call yourself or your building a Church?  If you need no guidance in that book you pretend to follow; if you are not following Scripture and are Hell-bent upon going your own way, why, oh why, even call yourself a Church?

Why not just call yourself the Onion Field Community Center or The Community Country Club, set up a charter, complete with dues, install a swimming pool with a lifeguard, turn the Family Life Center into a mock gambling hall and be done with it!  After all, if you're going to wink at sin, you might as well go all the way, shut your eyes and dive in.  You'll get there sooner and won't have the agony of putting up those Christians who insist upon following the pesky book called THE BIBLE!

You could counsel youth on birth control and sexually transmitted diseases, have dances and raise all kinds of money.   No one would have to stand up against abortion again, you just tell them when the bus leaves for Jackson so they can get one.  You won't have to worry about having any undesirables within the walls because only those who had their dues paid up to date would be allowed to come in.  [1Timothy 6:10  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.]

So many of our Churches are just little dens of iniquity wearing Church clothes.  And we wonder why the unsaved aren't impressed.  Do you really have to wonder why we are called "The great Satan" by other religions?   Do you have to ponder long why so many will be so surprised when, on judgement day, they will hear, "Depart from ME, I never knew you."  [Matthew 7:22  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?  23  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.]

Wouldn't you rather hear, "Well done!"?  [Matthew 25:23  His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.]

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!
Psalms 122:6  Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.

Success is NOT a Four Letter Word!

Success is not a four letter word.  Why is it that when people talk about successful people, it is with disdain or even outright hatred?  The news media is bad about it, particularly if the successful person is conservative.  It is truly an advancement of class warfare.  During the reign of Robespierre in France, the guillotine was invented as a quicker way to dispose of those filthy, wealthy rulers.  It was easier than the axe.  He started with the ruling class.  When he ran out of wealthy noblemen and women, he started for the wealthy business men and women.  As the pickings grew slimmer, he looked for yet another sector of the people to guillotine.  He grew in favor with the people until he started hunting them. 

Hitler was not the first to try to eliminate "undesirables" but his way was horrifically more, shall we say, efficient than that of Robespierre. 

Remember this the next time someone starts trying to turn you against a segment of the population.  Look at their reasons behind it.  Look closely at the laws they are trying to pass in order to enforce another effort at thought control.   I am not a supporter of any type of "hate crimes" legislation, nor do I support any type of restrictions on how much a person can honestly make in a year or in their lifetime.

The lowest wage one can earn should not be a mattress but step; just one step of many that they will take in their lifetime.  One should not be confined to simply "getting by" because they know every few years the minimum wage will be raised and they feel like they are "okay."

My first job paid me $1.00 an hour.  My next job paid me a whopping $1.50 an hour.  Within a short time, I was making $2.25 an hour.   Then I got a job that paid the enormous amount of $135.00 a week and that included my lunch HOUR and my health insurance with no deductible.  Overtime was paid after I worked a full 40 hours.  I actually worked 9 to 5 before working overtime. 

In today's economy, folks are protesting and fighting tooth and nail for that minimum wage to be increased like there is no hope for them to every get a decent paying job.  Today someone can make $750.00 a week and still not be able to clear enough to pay their rent/house payment, put gas in their vehicle and buy food. 

Wonder why that is.  We can blame taxes, government intrusion into our personal lives in the form of mandated health care, EPA regulations on where we live, the President's wife telling moms and dads what they can send in their children's school lunch, the news media with its penchant for declaring EVERYTHING a disaster and we can blame ourselves.  We can blame ourselves for putting up with this nonsense and allowing the "nanny state" to get started in the first place.

Success is not a four letter word and neither is work.  Well, "work" is a four letter word, but it's a good one.  Government can't supply jobs except in bureaucracy.  The government can't make you successful with subsidies, grants or minimum wage increases.  You have to work and make yourself a success.  It won't be easy.  You may have to change course more than a couple of times.  You may never be a billionaire.  Shoot, you may never make a million, but you will own it.  It won't be anything that someone has given you simply because you exist.  There is a certain amount of pride that goes with that and it is a good thing.

I wish you great success in your particular endeavor providing it is meaningful and of benefit to someone other than yourself.  Success is much better when it's shared.

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

A rabbi’s plea on divestment from Israel

A Rabbi’s Open Letter to Presbyterians

A rabbi’s plea on divestment from Israel

KEITH SRAKOCIC / ASSOCIATED PRESS

By Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch / NYDailynews.com
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Faith:

There is a Jewish folk tale that defines a friend as one who knows what gives his comrade pain. If we do not know what gives our fellow human being pain, we cannot be a friend.

You have caused us deep pain.

Our friendship has been ruptured not because we may disagree on any specific policy of the government of Israel.

Rather, by publishing Zionism Unsettled, a study guide deeply critical of Israel, and last week voting for the Presbyterian Church to divest from three major companies that do business with the Jewish state, you have evolved views that come perilously close to classic Christian animosity toward Judaism.
You criticize Israel incessantly, unfairly and disproportionately. But you are silent about Arab rejectionism, intolerance, and terrorism. There is little reflection, little sophistication, and little effort to understand underlying causes. Your minds are made up. You even ignore the reality that Israel is the only place in the Mideast where Christians are comfortable and safe, and Christian holy places are protected and open to all.
It is, indeed, tragic that there is violence in Israel and the Palestinian territories. You are not the only liberal movement that seeks peace. We, too, have been fighting for peace our entire lives. But it is even more tragic that Israel has been left with no alternative but to fight against those who have never recognized her and have made it their cause to destroy her.

It is easy to sit in a convention center and debate politics, policy, and philosophy far removed from the realities of daily life.

It is easy to write resolutions if you have never experienced the fear of sending your children to school in the morning and worrying about whether they will come home at night.
It is easy to voice noble sentiments of love and brotherhood if you have never had to don gas masks or spend days on end in a bomb shelter.

It is easy to condemn the walled section of the security barrier in Bethlehem, utterly ignoring why it was built in the first place: Because Palestinian terrorists were crossing into Israel and murdering and maiming thousands of Israelis in suicide bombings, or climbing onto rooftops in Bethlehem and shooting at civilians.
Is it too much to expect fellow liberal believers to understand Israel’s basic obligation to protect her citizens? Is it too much to expect fellow liberal believers to have some sympathy for a fellow democracy struggling to survive in the world’s worst neighborhood, encountering challenges the likes of which no other democracy in the world must face? Instead, you voice paltry pieties and self-satisfied sanctimonies.

The test is not whether you can quote religious chapter and verse. The test is to apply religious values to a difficult reality where it takes two to love and two to practice brotherhood and two to make peace. You act as if Israel alone has the power to make peace and has simply chosen not to. You give the impression that the Palestinians are mere potted plants.

In “Zionism Unsettled,” while you attack what you perceive as the exclusivist and even racist elements of Judaism, you also praise the inclusive nature of Islam. I have no doubt many Muslims are inclusive. I have met, and deeply respect, many of them, and we have worked together in brotherhood and common cause. But it is dishonest to ignore the reality that Israel, and the West itself, are fighting not that part of Islam that is inclusive, but the part that is rejectionist and violent. At this moment of anti-humanitarian, anti-Christian, anti-Jewish, anti-women’s rights, anti-gay, anti-pluralistic, anti-Western tribal savageness in the Middle East, this is the moment that you chose to divest from companies trading with Israel?

Divestment is shameful. Boycotting enterprises trading with Israel is reminiscent of dark chapters in Jewish-Christian relations that we hoped were behind us. No matter how much you seek to explain or distinguish, you have chosen to join the BDS (boycott, divestment, and sanctions) movement. You have allied yourself with some of the worst and most implacable of Israel’s enemies. They are not in favor of what you say you support: two states living side by side in peace. You should not be comforted by the relative handful of Jewish activists and academics you have found to support your views. Your Jewish supporters are marginal and unrepresentative and cannot be the slender reed upon which to justify your anti-Zionism or renew a productive partnership, if that is even what you want.

Finally, and I say this with no intention to offend: It is not for you to decide whether Zionism is a legitimate expression of Judaism; that is for Jews to decide. It is for you to decide only whether you will respect our understanding of Judaism.

I join you in praying for peace; may it come speedily in our day.
—————-
Hirsch is rabbi of Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in Manhattan. He wrote this open letter in an email to his congregation; a longer version can be found on the synagogue’s website.


http://www.levitt.com/news/2014/06/29/a-rabbis-open-letter-to-presbyterians/

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Dedicated to the Preacher Man - When the Issue is No Longer the Issue

Friendship is relative. Friends love one another. The Body of Christ is called Christ-like or Christian. We are called to show love one for another. We are called to show love even for our enemies, those who spitefully use us. I'm not citing chapter and verse from the BIBLE because those who know it simply know what I say is true. Those who choose to ignore it really do not care where it is in the BIBLE or even IF it is in the BIBLE. 

*********************************************************************************
 

If you become irritated with every preacher's sermon that you consider a 'slight,' you will never find peace nor the perfect preacher.

Nor will you find it by always separating yourself from those who irritate you. You can only fire so many preachers before you find yourself very much without a choice. You can keep hiring new preachers, of course, but sooner or later they will irritate you -- and then what?

Perhaps the better course might be to let the irritation go. Preachers rarely mean it personally when they do that, and a touch of easy forgiveness every day is even better than an apple.  Forgiveness, just like the apple, is for the one who holds it. The apple doesn't benefit. Neither does the one being forgiven.

**********************************************************************************

Bitterness, envy, strife, discord - all signs of a tortured soul.  The pain that courses through the heart and mind often finds its way out of the only avenue of escape - the lips.  When venom drips and the harshness is obvious to everyone, it is evident that the lips that have such caustic flavor are coming from an extremely tortured spirit. 

A difference of opinion becomes a battle and a simple comment creates a wall and war is declared.  And we are Christians.  And we are at war.  The battle that rages does not belong to us.  It is a Spiritual battle.  It is not between flesh and blood.  Yet we embrace the battle and arm ourselves with weapons so vile the Devil himself is giggling gleefully.

What to do when one sees a battle raging between two Christians is often a dilemma that few of us are equipped to face and none of us want to face, especially if we are not one of the combatants.  The problem is seldom that either is completely wrong.  Unless there is a doctrinal difference then there can be no "compromise" on one party's part, particularly if you believe in the inerrant nature of the WORD OF GOD.

So, what does one do when a congregation is pulled into a territorial dispute over something as simple as who decides what goes into a bulletin or as critical as to whether or not women should be Deacons?  What do you do when the actual issue has long since departed and the issue is no longer the issue, it is the struggle that now matters?  What does a bystander do with this drama?  I might add unnecessary drama.

When tension descends upon a church and even visitors notice it, there is no way I will invite someone to the service without having grave misgivings.  I'd almost rather not invite anyone.

When there are a few who, rather than confront an issue and work it out or at least work on it, would prefer to refuse to speak to one another and leave the room rather than be in the same room with the other, would prefer to act as a child and simply vilify the opposition, how do we handle that?

 

Shut up, stop whining and get a life!

Been reading and listening to a variety of things to improve whatever needs improving.  I have latched onto a couple of phrases from Larry Winget.

"Shut up, stop whining and get a life!"  (You must be willing to DO whatever it takes to be successful.  You MUST be willing to take a stand for what you BELIEVE and NOT waiver.)

"If your life sucks, it's probably because you suck." (You are responsible for your life.)

"You can't have it all, you have to make choices and you have to give up something to get something."  (It's called sacrifice. In order to get healthy you have to give up all that crap that made you UN-healthy.)

If you aren't satisfied with where you are and your life as it is, quit hanging around with those people you call friends who support you and tell you that you are okay where you are.

Employers have to be careful to not have much of a backbone and tell people what they really think.  They won't tell people that they are not hiring them because ....and actually give a valid reason.  They just don't and the poor sap goes around to prospective employers doing the same ignorant thing and wondering why he isn't being hired.  Then they wind up with people that have to be continually motivated because they don't realize that most of life is not done because we feel like it but because it simply has to be done.  If they don't feel like working, they find other things to do or even leave to go to appointments that don't exist.

Keeping employees motivated isn't what it's all about.  If you have to work to keep your employees motivated, maybe you hired the wrong people.  Most work is completed because it needs to be done, not because someone is highly motivated to do it. 

We are a coddled, infantile lot.  Our feelings are hurt at the drop of a hat primarily because we think the universe revolves around us.  We need to get over it.  The world was here first and owes us absolutely nothing.   Employers and management are no less insulated from the ME crowd as they cater to those whims of the few who are so tender that someone MUST say, "Good morning, kind sir.  Wouldst thou please movest thy coat-tails so I may properly kiss thy rather large posterior?" 

Or, if female, say, "How doest thou this grand morning?  Thou lookest very comely with thy lovely makeup and thy magnificent hair adorned so beautifully!  It is certainly a pleasure to be speaking with you this glorious day!"   And add,  "How best may I serve you in all that you desire?  Every wish you may have is just a twitter within me to grant to its conclusion."

As opposed to, "It's me, how can I help you?"

And if you were to say to some flibbertigibbet that he was more of a man than he acted, well, my word, bring in the National Guard and surround the office because someone done got their itty-bitty feelins hurt!

To be continued.... only because life goes on...

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!

Well, it's certain. I'm going to die. Yep. In the meantime:

I'm drinking bottled water left in the car.
Eating cookies that I dropped on the floor (5 second rule or not).
I'm spending time in the sun with or without sunblock.
Driving my car within 25 miles of home.
Eating fried catfish caught in the Mississippi river by my loving husband.
Eating the occasional bacon and sausage.
Walking out doors through fire ants and maybe getting bitten.
Walking outside at night and getting the occasional mosquito bite.
I plan on talking to total strangers at the check out line. In Wal-mart!
Plan on drinking my 2 shakes a day, drinking 5 bottles of water a day and getting some exercise.
I may even have a bowl of ice cream and a bag of popcorn.

How long do I have? I don't know. Maybe 20 or 30 years. But unless THE LORD comes...

No one knows the day or the hour or even the year, so live today. Enjoy today. And don't get too caught up, over-the-top twisted about "saving the planet" and eating only "healthy stuff" because THE LORD will have HIS day and the earth and the Heavens will all be made new.  And when that happens, guess what?  You will be, too, if you are a child of HIS.  So what you need to be the MOST concerned about is where you'll spend eternity, knowing that the only time you can become a Child of GOD is here in time.  Once time passes, it's too late.  The decision is made.  Become HIS now.  Be the best HE made you to be.  HE has great plans for you.
‪

#2014NoExcuses ‬ ‪#‎Christian‬ ‪#‎ViLife‬

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Project 10 Challenges

PROJECT 10 CHALLENGERS
LOSING WEIGHT!  GETTING HEALTHY!  HELPING KIDS!!

#vilife join our challenge!! Tamika

"Just a little over a year on ViSalus! Down almost 140 lbs. on the Project 10 challenge, off all 5 of the prescriptions I was on, countless inches lost (yes, I need to measure) and feel better than I have in years! I Joined a gym, have a trainer (and those words are still amazing coming out of my mouth), workout 3-5 times a week and LOVE IT!" Kathy

“One year ago I would have thought it impossible to lose 100 lbs. I have no idea what I am capable of and that is awesome!” Congratulations, Rod! Never stop surprising yourself! #FitnessFriday — with Rod Medel.

March 27, 2012
My Body By Vi Challenge is:
lose 9 pounds which will take me down to 160lbs,
lose 3 inches on my waist,
lose 3 inches on my hips,
and add an additional 2 miles to my walk in the morning which will make it 4 miles. — with Wes Pigott.

Body By Vi - Pam Pigott shared Pam Pigott's photo.

Posted by Pam Pigott · April 12

For everyone who is embarrassed or afraid to go public with your weight:
I am sharing this again because I find it hard to believe that I have lost so much weight just by faithfully drinking "milkshakes"!!!

Oh yeah! That BMW I'm standing in front of wasn't mine. I have my own now!!

This is great!! I have been below 150. I'm about 152 now.
I am down to a loose size 10!!
I'll have to check on the other measurements.
WHOOO!! HOOO!!

Not my usual post, but I am excited to see the progress others and myself have made on the Project 10 Challenge.  The PROJECT 10 CHALLENGE DONATES TO HELP CHILDREN AS EACH OF US LOSES WEIGHT AND GETS HEALTHY!   TO FIND OUT MORE INFO CONTACT ME AT MY WEBSITE!  

Body By Vi - Pam Pigott

 Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem! 

Do any of us know what it is like to be truly hungry?  Do any of us know what it is like to look death in the face day after day?  There are some portions of the world where people know, really know, hunger, fear and we are so far removed from them.  We must not forget them.  We must remember that for some, the coming day brings new terrors and more hunger.  What is their crime?  They are Christian, they are Jew, they simply exist.

 

There was nothing that I could add to this writing to enhance it.  My feeble words could only detract.  Please go to this link to read the entire article:   Bergen-Belson Diary 1945

Bergen-Belsen Diary, 1945

The great Yiddish writer Chava Rosenfarb records the first days after her liberation, in a stunning document of survival

By Chava Rosenfarb| January 27, 2014 12:00 AM

 

Share2K Tweet174 8 15

A group of women at the liberated Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1945. (George Rodger/Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images)

Soon There Will Be No More Survivors

Watch this presentation: We say people must remember the Holocaust in the future, but we’re ignoring its victims today.

By Matthew Fishbane

The Last Poet of Lodz

The untold story of the great epic poem of the Holocaust—and the generous, tragic hero who wrote it

By Chava Rosenfarb

Holocaust Poetry, Saved Again

New translations of three astonishing poems, which evoke the horror of the Lodz ghetto and its aftermath

By Chava Rosenfarb

Bergen-Belsen was liberated by the British Army on April 15, 1945. Conditions at the camp were so horrendous that the British burned it down in order to stop the spread of typhus and other diseases. They relocated the survivors to a former German Army barracks, two kilometers from the original camp. This new camp was called Bergen-Belsen Displaced Persons camp.
This diary by Chava Rosenfarb appears to have been written in this DP camp, when Rosenfarb was 22 years old. The following extracts were published in Yiddish in 1948 as an addendum to Rosenfarb’s first collection of poems, Di balade fun nekhtikn vald (The Ballad of Yesterday’s Forest). It is translated here by Goldie Morgentaler, Rosenfarb’s daughter and a professor of English at the University of Lethbridge.

Bergen-Belsen, May 6, 1945
Father, where are you?

Today, for the first time, I hold a pencil in my hand. My fingers tremble over the white sheet of paper. Where is your warm, sure hand to cover my trembling fingers and lead them again to open the sacred doors of our Yiddish aleph-bet? When I was a little girl, you guided my hand over the neat white lines. We wrote the word “Tateh” and there arose such a light from those five small letters that the word itself acquired a soul, and I saw that soul reflected in your loving smile: “Tateh.”

I sit near the window. The branches of the large chestnut tree outside reach up to the second floor where we are staying. Today I can see the sky and it is of the purest blue. Perhaps it is just an ordinary blue sky with nothing remarkable about it. But I see this sky as it must have looked to the first human being when he suddenly recognized God and genuflected before the beautiful blue expanse that stretched above his head. I want to write: “How beautiful you are, blue sky,” but instead I see your luminous eyes. I can feel your blessings and your dreams, your smile and your longing.

Below my window I hear a commotion. It is nothing serious. Soup is being distributed. Everybody will get a portion. People are impatient, still haunted by the anxiety of yesterday that lives on in them. Although they know that no one will go away without his portion of soup—if not at this window, he will be served at the next—but still they all try to be served first. They want to be sure of that little bowl of soup, to stir it with a spoon. There is a man standing opposite my window. He emerges from the tangled crowd holding his bowl in his hand. He does not go to his room. He does not sit down at the table. Leaning against the stone wall he gulps down the soup as fast as he can. God, how hungry he is! For years he has been hungry and for years he has been frightened. He is very thin. A heavy coat hangs from his shoulders and reaches to his ankles. Between one slurp of soup and the next he wipes his face with the sleeve of his coat. He is tired but happy. I can see his eyes dance with pleasure as they glance away from his pot to embrace everything around him, from the green grass beneath the window to the tall chestnut tree. He is so happy. What is he thinking about, this man, this Jew, this tortured emaciated Jew? Most likely, he is not thinking anything at all. Even so, I know and his limbs know and his body knows that soon he will cast off his heavy black overcoat. Soon the flesh will grow on his bones. Life has arrived!

I shut my eyes. Deliberately I put out of my mind the man standing opposite. And suddenly I see you, Father. It is you. I can see how the strength is returning to your body. You are alive. Perhaps you too are standing somewhere at this very moment with your bowl of soup, leaning against another wall. Is it possible? I ask my heart, but it trembles with uncertainty.

May 7
Wherever I look I see you. No matter what other thoughts come into my mind, you are always there. Where are you, Tateh? Will I ever be able to caress you and beg your forgiveness? I showed you so little kindness in the lost days of my feverish past. I told you very little of my innermost thoughts. You were so thirsty to know my feelings and I was so stingy in sharing them with you. Where are you now, Tateh? I want to tell you everything!

Did you hear the firing of the guns? The shots are meant to tell the world that peace has come, that the hour of freedom has arrived; those very days for which you so longed when you were shut up in the darkness of the ghetto. Have you lived to see them? The uncertainty is torturing me. My only hope is that a miracle has saved you. You were so tired after those five years in the ghetto. But then, cut off from us, how could you have survived the still more terrible atrocities of the camps? Perhaps the longing to see us again helped you to survive? Tateh, we are here. The fire is glowing, but you are missing from our joy.

May 8
It is over. Our liberation has come, but she wears a prosaic face. No one has died of joy. No one has gone mad with excitement. When we used to dream of freedom, we bathed her with our tears. We crowned her with the garlands of our smiles and dreams. Now that she is here, she looks like a beggar, and we have nothing to give her. With what desperation did we call for her in those dark days. With what power did her far-off shimmer flesh out our thin bodies? Now she is here and she beckons to us from every corner. She is right before our eyes, yet we cannot see her. She begs us: “Touch me … enjoy me …” But we are tired. Our past, like a hawk, circles overhead, fluttering its black wings, devouring our days with horrible memories. It poisons our nights with terror. Poor, sad Freedom! Will she ever have the strength to free us from those dark shadowy wings?

Bats circle outside the window. Their wings flutter in a ghostly dance. My unfinished ghetto poem torments my mind. It used to accompany me in the camp. With its words on my lips I used to drag myself through the snows in the early winter mornings to work. I penciled the verses on the ceiling above my bunk. Each day a few more lines. In my mind, I hear them constantly.

Through the open window I can hear the loudspeaker announcing that today the war is officially over. Where are you, Tateh? I want to hug you. The air trembles to the distant salvos of guns. Thin clouds of smoke waft through the air. We celebrate this festive moment with a chunk of dry bread. We have nothing better.

May 10
At night when I open my eyes, I see Mother and Henia. They are wiping the sweat from my forehead and they constantly ask how I feel. We tremble over each other’s wellbeing. I want to comfort them. I want to tell them that we do not need to be afraid anymore. We are free now. But how can we protect ourselves from death? No, we are still very helpless.

I have a fever. Perhaps it is a cold. Or is it, perhaps, typhus?

*********************************************************
Shalom.  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem

The Holy Land Experience - Is it amusing?

The Holy Land Experience in Orlando was originally developed as a teaching tool to show people what the Holy Land was like for those who were unable to afford the trip to Israel.  I always wanted to go.  Zola Levitt even conducted tours there a couple of times a year before he "graduated to be with THE LORD." 

It has since been sold to a large "Christian" business and I no longer have any desire to go see it.  It is a glorified theme park.  It is advertised boldly as the nation's best "amusement' park.  But they have ordained ministers and churches and theaters and baptisms and The Lord's Supper and it's all so "spiritual" and entertaining, amusing and exciting.  Really?

No, I am not against people having fun and even enjoying the BIBLE, but the problem I have with this (and I may be on my own) is that we have grown to expect our Church to entertain us in Worship, in Sunday School, in Vacation Bible School and we embrace the world to the point that there is little difference between the Christian church house and the world we are to be separated from.  We are supposed to be sanctified, "set apart" not blended in.  We are supposed to attract people with our CHRIST likeness not our worldliness.

There was a song about 30 years ago and the only line I can remember is "Would Jesus wear a rolex?"  Wonder what JESUS would do with the HLE and their T-shirt and book sales and souvenirs?  Would HE praise them for their ingenuity or would HE braid a whip and run them all out.  I don't know.  I just know that for me it's nauseous.

**********************************
Ray Stevens
(http://youtu.be/76ohvqwsNkk)
"Would Jesus Wear A Rolex" Lyrics

Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
sellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself

(chorus)

Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show.

Would Jesus be political if He came back to earth?
Have His second home in Palm Springs, yeah, a try to hide His worth?
Take money, from those poor folks, when He comes back again,
and admit He's talked to all them preachers who say they been a talkin' to Him?

(chorus)

Just ask ya' self, Would He wear a pinky ring,
Would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressing room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know:
Could ya tell me, would Jesus wear a Rolex,
Would jesus wear a Rolex
Would Jesus wear a Rolex
On His television show-ooh-ooh?

*********************************

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

Are we ALL equal ALL the time? No.

Be careful what you give your children to read. Read the books before they do and if you work in a school and would not have certain books in your home, then don't put those books on a required reading list. Don't use them for "reading time with the tots" at the public library either.

What do children's books teach children about men? If the father is portrayed as well-meaning bumbling fool in every book, it is actually teaching your child at a very early age that men are bumbling fools. If the parents are always portrayed as being on the same level as the children, it is teaching disrespect for authority. If we are all "equal" then there is no need to respect authority.

Let's face it. No one is a bumbling fool ALL the time. Just as we should not ALL be treated equally ALL the time. Before you start, unsaddle that high horse, take a deep breath and settle down.

We've all seen the commercials where the momma bear needs to make sure junior bear's butt isn't littered with TP and poppa bear uses too much and has some sort of inordinate fixation to the TP.  It is ALWAYS momma bear that controls the situations and ALWAYS brings order. Poppa bear is the nincompoop that spends too much time in the bathroom playing with the TP. 

A five year old is not EQUAL to Mom or Dad and when the accomplishment charts are put up on the fridge, Mom and Dad's name should not be there. This is a teaching tool for children. Your spouse is not a child. Although you both may act like children from time to time, you are NOT children and should not be treat each other as such. A certain amount of respect should be given to the position of an adult (i.e., Mom or Dad, Grandma or Grandpa). What if, what if, what if. There is always "what if."

Figure it out folks.

I mean, does Mom really have time to examine everyone's butt for TP scraps?  Or does Mom have time to give a star to Dad every time he ties his own shoes?  What about that bathroom time?  Isn't there some time that we can have just a little bit of privacy?  Who really cares how you clean your butt, unless their nose is in the wrong place?

It's just like the Office of President. You may not care for the one in the chair, but he is where he is and is deserving of respect due to his position of power. Scripture tells us that GOD raises up leaders and takes them down. He gives us what we deserve, not necessarily what we want.

Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!

#2014NoMoreExcuses  #ALLthingsarepossible

What Has Happened to the Church?

Putin is saying that Russia is on the side of GOD.  Russia is emerging as a "Pro-Family Leader" and defending Judeo-Christian values.  How can this be? 

Consider that "Russia is remaking itself as the leader of the anti-Western world" (from author Masha Gessen, who has written a book about Putin) and that this year the World Congress of Families VII will be held in Moscow, Sept 10-12 and then look closely at the state of the so-called Christian Church in the Western world. 

We (us Christians) are one sorry lot.  All of us?  Of course not.  There are a few bright and shining examples of Christianity out there.  Do I count myself among them?  HUH UH!!  Definitely NOT!  There are far too many times when I have witnessed my brother or sister in THE LORD about to fall in a ditch or caught up in sin and said absolutely nothing.  That is a HUGE sin.  Scripture plainly tells us to be either hot or cold for the lukewarm HE will spew out of HIS mouth.

Check this.  In the church's rush to increase numbers and thereby increase the coffers, sin is allowed in the church.  In those churches where alcohol is frowned upon and anything illegal is definitely a NO-NO, there are "secret sins" that are often overlooked and sometimes encouraged in order to not turn anyone against the church (which means run them off and lose their tithe).  Pornography is running rampant even among many deacons and church leaders.  Divorce in the so-called Christian community is as high as those who are un-churched. Other couples suffer in "silence" while their spouses beat them and terrorize the children.  Our dependence upon GOD and HIS ability to provide is solely dependent upon how well we think our own efforts are doing.

If our church, our congregation is exactly like the world or so much so that no one can really tell the difference, then where do the lost souls go in order to find someone who can actually point them to SALVATION?  I can tell you where they go.

They go to cults who are radically different.  They go anywhere BUT Christianity when they see no or very little difference between the Christian and Pagan idolators. 

So what really is our sin? 
"We don't drink. 
We don't smoke and we don't chew
and we don't go with those that do."

Pride?  No, we aren't proud of our works and all we have accomplished.  We give all credit to GOD.  Sure we do!

Envy?  NAH!  We are eternally grateful that anyone among us is successful and that others have been able to build large, fine church buildings.

Lust?  Why NO!  And that is for sure and certain!  Everyone keeps their own eyes on their own mate and no one has ever left their spouse to run off with another.  And everyone remains chaste until marriage because that's the way they were raised.

Anger?  Absolutely not!  We are all children of GOD and forgiveness rolls off our tongues and hearts with great ease even if we are highly offended.  And we act like adults and NEVER carry a grudge.  You can be proud of that!

Greed?  Why would we be greedy?  After all, our FATHER owns the cattle on a thousand hills and HE provides for all our needs.

Sloth?  NEVER!  We will work ourselves to death for our LORD and SAVIOR and we have the committees to prove it!

Gluttony?  Just how can you even ask?  We feed the poor and why, just last week we had our weekly fellowship with a pot luck supper.  And don't forget the anniversary and birthday celebrations with the cakes, cookies, potato salad, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, fried fish, french fries, lemon meringue pie, chocolate pie, deviled eggs, strawberry shortcake, German chocolate cake, better-than-sex cake, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, cheese balls, hamburgers, sweet potato pie, chocolate pie, cheesecake, chili, red beans and rice, ham, turkey, red velvet cake, pimento cheese, doritos, potato chips, corn chips, cheese dip, queso, chicken spaghetti, spaghetti and meatballs, double-stuffed cookies, creamed corn,12 bean salad, pound cake, Tostitos, hotdogs, cake mix cookies, homemade icecream, homemade rolls, cinnamon rolls, German potato salad, barbeque chicken, pot roast, potatoes, carrots, squash, an assortment of soda, sweet tea, unsweet tea, water and a green salad.  And you MUST eat some of what I brought or my feelings will get hurt.  Glad you came.  We have to do this again next week.  Oh wait, we are.  Don't forget to refill that pot.  Who in the world brought that green salad and those raw vegetables?  Don't she know how to cook?

Don't sweat the small stuff!

I was told a few years ago that I had a problem. I asked the one who told me, "What do I do to fix it?" The response was, "You're a smart girl, you'll figure it out!" Well, I wasn't that smart. I didn't figure it out and that's okay because the need to figure it out has long since disappeared. It only just occurred to me that they didn't know how to fix my problem either because they didn't know what it was and they just may have been a big part of it. Such is life. Onward and always upward. ;-) It just shows me that: You can't sweat the small stuff and most of it is VERY small stuff. You can't understand everything so don't try. And GOD will make all things work together for good for those that love HIM, and that's a fact! Shalom!  Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem! Romans 12:1 Psalm 51:17 2 Corinthians 4:16

I don't want the 10 Commandments back in the school - Freedom is from GOD not the government.

I don't want the 10 Commandments back in the school. I want JESUS CHRIST THE MESSIAH in the home, the schools and in all phases of Government. That's all I'm praying for. We wouldn't need to return anything to the schools if it hadn't left the homes and the congregations first. If folks were going to the Meeting House (like they used to) and taking Church with them, the Church would still be allowed in schools. Don't understand? Well, the Church is not the building. The building is where the Church goes to meet on Sundays and Wednesdays. The Body of CHRIST is THE CHURCH. The building is simply a convenience, a large place to gather and worship GOD.   Free Government is the direct result of a deeply held Religious faith. If you believe in GOD you can be free because you know you are accountable to GOD. Personal accountability is supremely necessary in a free society. While mankind is sinful, it is only the presence of GOD that restrains that same nature. That is the cornerstone of our Government. GOD was included as a necessity and not simply as a convenient, “feel good” Freedom. Our methodical removal of GOD from our Government will only serve in the removal of our Freedom. Civil Liberties cannot be allowed to be claimed by those whose ultimate desire is to overthrow those same Civil Liberties. Those who claim to institute a different law under the guise of Religious Freedom or those who desire to overthrow Capitalism under the guise of Freedom of Speech. Communism would use the freedoms that we have to motivate us to failure rather than to success due to the fact that they hold to the ideology that one’s freedoms are given by the Government and that same Government has the power to remove those very freedoms. Terrorists would use our Freedom of Religion in order to institute Islamic laws, theoretically only within their neighborhoods, in order to gain a foothold and ultimately spread it throughout the nation, thereby replacing Christian Law with Islamic Law. We see that in the insistence of wearing the clothing, having the prayer times and forcing the local Governments to allow the prayer calls that disrespect local noise ordinances.   As we continually “allow” the laws to be changed under the misguided assumption that we must “tolerate” everything in order to be viewed as “equal under the law” we are, in effect, undermining the very privileged sanctuary that guarantees the Freedom to be “different.” When you restrict one’s ability to even think, then write, a differing opinion that has been held since the beginning of the country (all men are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights) you contribute to the undermining of the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

From Poverty to Poverty - Raising the Minimum Wage solves nothing!

It really is a no-brainer that people can't survive (raise a family, get ahead, save money, etc) on $7.25 per hour. Will they be able to "survive" on $10.10 per hour? What happened to the personal economy when the minimum wage was raised to $7.25 on July 24, 2009? Well, in the short term, people enjoyed that boost in their paychecks. But they also noticed that their new wealth was no more able to raise their standard of living than being given a puppy. The cost of living increased due to the higher cost of labor. In July, 1967 I worked for $1.00 per hour in a hospital laundry. It was my first job and thought it a fair wage for unskilled labor folding sheets and loading machines. At that time, bread was about $0.25 per loaf, milk was about $.030 per gallon and a pound of ground round was about $0.50. So for that dollar, after taxes you could get 2 of the 3 items. And you could buy 4 gallons of gas for about $1.00. You could buy milk, bread and almost 2 gals of gas. Today, March 8, 2014 you can work for $7.25 per hour. Milk is about $3.00 per gallon, a loaf of bread is about $2.00 per loaf and a pound of ground round is about $7.00 a pound (okay, so you'll get that prepackaged no see-um ground meat(?) for $3.00 per pound) [Who wants meat that actually tastes good anyway?]. After taxes you will probably get about $6.00 (when you make more, you will get less than that, probably closer to $4.50). So for $6.00 you can get a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. Or, 1 pound of cheap meat and a gallon of milk. And you can go to the gas station and lust after that gallon of gas at $3.20 per gallon. What will $10.10 get you?  Prices have already gone up as of March 14, 2014.  Bread is still about $2.00 a loaf, but a gallon of milk is edging closer to $4.00 per gallon and a pound of cheap meat is about $5.00.  You'll still get about the same thing you were getting before.  And you still will lust after that gallon of gas which will probably be closer to $4.00 per gallon than $3.00. Raising the minimum wage really won't get us anything. It won't raise anyone's standard of living. And the poverty level? It's just a number. It doesn't mean very much. JESUS said, "The poor you will have with you always..." The Government, that mini-god in Washington, DC, will only cook the books and wiggle the numbers until it suits whomever is in office no matter what party gets in. What is poverty? A lack of "stuff"? We no longer have to worry about a lack of "stuff." We need to be concerned more with our moral poverty. And this country is on the brink of moral bankruptcy.  From irrational children suing parents for their "right" to parental money, to the government removing children from parents because they (the bureaucrats) disagree with the doctors the parents took their child to, we, as a nation, have LOST IT! And yes, if you read this far, you could probably find fault with some of my math or my beliefs, but you get the point.   Instead of raising the poverty level otherwise known as the "Minimum Wage," why not raise the level of employ-ability by allowing lower wages for a period of time and provide quality training for a higher paying job or vocation?  Simply giving or requiring employers to give higher wages doesn't solve anything. Remember the old adage, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."  Unless the Government steps in and taxes or regulates him out of business.