Why Don't You Just Get A Job?

I have never been as aware of how that question must sound as I am now.  I know now how difficult it can be.  I have been unemployed through no choice of my own during an economy that lends itself to joblessness.  So, how does one just find a job?

The question that comes next is, "Why don't you just go where there are jobs?"

When I was in my 30's and younger, I asked those same questions of chronically unemployed people I met.  Little did I know that some day I would be there.

I actually might be able to get a job elsewhere maybe moving a thousand miles or maybe just 200 miles away from my home.  But I have found I do not want to move.  I have lived here for almost 20 years.  Our house is ours.  I have pets.  I am 62.  When I was 32 moving was not a big deal.  The excitement of moving to a new area was a good thing.  I actually had a job that required that I move every 2 to 3 years.  I was the office manager for a construction company that set up offices across the country until jobs were finished.  Back then, I enjoyed moving.  I had little and few connections.   My ex-husband had custody of our son and it was easier to be gone than fight with the ex every day over some of the dumbest things.  I was still able to see my son when scheduled visits were allowed.

Back then, arthritis was not a factor.  And the extra weight I have put on was not there to slow me down.  My mother suffered from rheumatoid arthritis but even with that knowledge, I never thought about how it might affect me in 20 or 30 years.  I actually never thought about aging and therefore never prepared myself mentally for it.

I also never considered that I would one day not be working.  Retirement was the farthest thing from my mind.  Even last year, I thought it was at least 4 years away.  I have not even taken a vacation in 20 years.  For the past 40 years, with the exception of 11 months after the birth of my son when he was nursing, I was never unemployed for more than a few days. 

At this point it has been almost a year since my former employer terminated my employment simply because he could.  It was unexpected.  I had not planned on being unemployed, but when I found myself unemployed I tried to be optimistic.  I tried to keep a stiff upper lip, look on the bright side, know that when a door is closed another opens,  and all those positive things.  I tried, but failed at doing any of it.  I tried counseling for the deep depression and severe anxiety and that worked rather well for a while.  One can only afford so many sessions.  I have worked in the garden, walked 2 miles a day (that lasted a week), picked up old hobbies, completed some projects around the house, purged some old junk, prepared for a yard sale that has not happened yet, tried to rekindle old friendships, written more than 100 blogs about a variety of stuff, read my Bible and prayed.

I am still fighting the depression and anxiety.  I am almost afraid to work.  The what ifs fight to consume me no matter how hard I fight the urge to fend off what if. 

For many families out there, the what ifs are a reality.  They have lost well-paying jobs, then their house, then their cars and some have lost their spouse and children.  I often wondered before the economy went south how some of those young people afforded the new vehicle, the big house and all that stuff and when they started losing homes and vehicles and went back home to live with parents (for a while, just til we get back on our feet) what I had suspected was true.  Many did not even realize they were living above their means.  They thought it was normal to live from paycheck to paycheck and rely on credit cards.  They thought the party would never end.

But, when all is said and done, above all I am blessed!  I have a husband who still loves me even though he is stuck with me 24/7.  We have food on the table, clothes on our back and a roof over our head.  Our debts are small and we own most of what we have outright. 

We have a garden.  We have our pets and we have friendly neighbors.  We have a relationship with THE MESSIAH.  We know that when we die, we will be in the presence of GOD ALMIGHTY.  It is comforting to know that whatever happens HE will always be there for me.  If it had not been for that, I would not be able to write and whine about what has happened.  I owe it all to HIM who said HE would never leave nor forsake me.  I can turn from HIM knowing HE will never turn from me.  It is only because of HIS Peace that I have been able to survive and thrive.

Shalom.  Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.