Observations on Depression

Depression is nothing new on nor in this world. The Prophet Jeremiah suffered from it. Jonah suffered from it. Jeremiah's depression was brought on by the Hebrew people abandoning GOD and GOD then telling Jeremiah what HE was planning to do to these stiff-necked people; sending them into exile and many being slaughtered, even the sons of the King, because even the King was determined to go against GOD'S Word and do what was right in his own eyes.

Jonah's depression was a combination of anger and despair at having to warn a horrid people who GOD was going to destroy if they did not repent and turn to HIM. The people of Nineveh engaged in human sacrifice and all sorts of immorality that were offensive and Jonah would have preferred that GOD just smite them and relieve Jonah of his task; warning a people he despised.

Consider Adam and Eve. One moment you were in the Garden of Eden; blissfully ignorant of sin; walking in the Garden in the cool of the day with your Creator; all the animals were friendly; and you lacked absolutely nothing. Then all Hell breaks loose. You feel fear for the first time and you know you are to blame. You see blood for the first time; the blood of an animal sacrificed to cover your nakedness.

The first political blame-game happened in that moment with the words, “The serpent deceived me ...” “That woman you gave me ...” And so it has continued to this day.

Think about their firsts – their first thorn, first back ache, first sun burn, first argument and that first murder. Their son, Abel, killed by their son, Cain. I can only imagine their first depression. The agony they must have felt. In spite of a near-perfect gene pool and a physical relationship with GOD HIMSELF, there was temptation they chose not to resist and, all things considered, depression was the least of their concerns. They watched as their many children chose lives of lust and greed. So few followed after GOD that the resulting consequence was the global Flood.

I don't know about you, but that would be depressing. To have that physical relationship with the Creator of the Universe and then be banned from HIS presence secure in the knowledge that it was their fault it happened.

Fast forward to modern America. At one time or other we all suffer with depression. The first time it hits with a vengeance. It knocks you off your feet and sends you into a tail spin; a tailspin that can last for days, weeks or months. And those words of, well, I really do not know how to describe them. People think they are helping and sometimes their words work, but most often they do not. Rarely does anything anyone else does or says help. That spark MUST come from within yourself.

Which brings us to the point of true despair. We know that the only one who can help us is us. Even without training, instinctively we know we are the only hope we have of digging our way out of the abyss. But that thing that we feel that wants someone, anyone, to rescue is at the forefront of our thoughts. Why? It is simple, really. We have lost faith in ourselves to function. We have given up on us, yet want someone else to care for us more than we do. At that moment we are a failure, a pimple on the butt of humanity, just waiting to be scratched away.

If you are one who suffers from intermittent depression and are reading this, there is a sprinkling of hope that you can help yourself. You can mitigate your symptoms. Depression is going to descend upon you like an airliner without fuel, a virtual lead balloon from out of nowhere. Maybe not today but those of us who are fortunate enough to feel the woes and worries of this life, it will come. We can and should prepare for that moment.

What triggers your depression? Is it a situation that arises, blindsided you and just as suddenly is gone, but the feelings linger? This could be a relationship gone south; the death of someone close; those work-related problems – deadlines and humans that just do not want to co-operate; and that larger-than-life thing called stress.

Stress, what is it? It is the awakening of the fight-or-flight response that never has a chance to dissipate. You find yourself constantly on guard even when there is no apparent reason for it. Sleep becomes illusive and maybe even seems unnecessary which only exacerbates the physiological issues that are now compounding and leaving you tired, restless, and losing your edge. As your edge fades, so goes your self-confidence, as does your desire to even leave the safety of that quilt your Mom gave you when you moved out on your own. Bed is safe and the only thing keeping you headed out to work each day is the knowledge that your safe bed will not be there if you cannot pay the rent. Food becomes a burden either through non-consumption or through over consumption for the same reason.

By now you are looking at this page and probably thinking, You've gotten to page 2 and still haven't told me anything new! Is this where the $49.99 reduced price comes in? Stupid person!

And my response is that I am not selling anything and never told you I have anything new to add to your already overloaded arsenal of websites, books and advice-laden friends and family. I can tell you what it took me 40 years, 1 psychiatrist, 3 psychologists, 2 therapy groups, the purchase of 47 self-help books (most of which said the same thing), 37 days of in-patient care (intense drugs, therapy and being with those who had problems greater than mine), 3 IQ tests (you would not believe how much those helped) and all the friends and family who said (in love, I am certain), “you are a freaking psycho!” and “If you only knew how much we loved you, you wouldn't hurt us like this (or “you wouldn't put us through this” or some other nonsense.).” I mean it is all about them, right? You're just putting them through Hell for spite, correct? DUH! NO!!

Running away

It never works! I mean it NEVER works!!! It does not work because if you do not fix yourself, you just pack up your troubles in your ol' kit bag and haul 'em with you. That goes for the behaviors that contributed to this fix you are in. You might escape the stress for about 24 hours. Then you wake up and realize you are unemployed or the dog should be fed or you really, really, really, REALLY!, REALLY!! miss those kids of yours, all 12 of them. Okay, there are only 3 but they really do seem like 30 toddlers some days instead of 3 teenagers and yes, your husband. He is not such a bad sort but that thing about being “psycho” did kind of hurt.

What does work?

A plan works. Any plan will do. But first you have to do the research. As with any project, you must have a clear-cut goal. Get out a piece of paper and a pen, not a pencil. Yes, paper! For this first part of the plan, you must write it down. There is something about that movement of the hand gliding across the page and your brain thinking about what you are writing that makes it seem to coalesce with ease. STOP! It does not matter if your handwriting is horrible! Work on that later.

Now! What to write. First a goal. Be specific as possible; not just “get better.” Perhaps something like “Research natural remedies for depression” or “Research causes of depression.” Put a completion date on it. If it is not dated, it will not get done. [Just an aside: date everything you do. It helps when you come across some random piece of paper and something on it triggers a memory but there is no clue as to when.] Dating your notes or journal will give you a time frame for the progress you make. Notes made from internet searches also help. If you find yourself searching every day with little real results, you know to change your search criteria. If you only search once a month, either what you are finding is working or you are not putting forth enough effort. If the effort is 6 months apart, you really are not interested in helping yourself or you are all better so stop reading and get a pizza. If you make notes on what sites and what, if anything, you used from them, you will not be repeating useless searches.

Sometimes just getting healthier has a profound effect on the frequency and length of depression episodes. You must take this on as a whole-body transformation.

If you like this post, please let me know and I will write more about this subject.

SHALOM! Pray for the PEACE of Jerusalem!!