Laura

Laura

Laura's death was sudden. It was expected--that call in the night, but when it came it was so unexpected. Nothing prepares you for what Erika told me.

"She's dead!! Laura's dead! She's dead!" Erika's cries came heavy over the phone and I was stunned. At first, it was like a dream--something I had somehow thought but it could never be real. Reality slowly began its laborious descent and I knew it was true.

"NO!" was all I could say.

"Dad told me there wasn't even gonna be a service!" Her sobs were heavier.

"Yes, there will. She will be remembered and we will say, 'good-bye.'" My answer was firm and she would have a service. My mind started trying to focus on what needed to be done and how I would make the trip.

"What happened? Where's her daughter?"

"Dad told me not to even come! What's wrong with him? He said that he wasn't going to call you tonight! He's not even going to let us tell her good-bye! He told me I was stupid for getting so upset!!" Her questions came fast and furious. Erika was so distraught and there was nothing I could do or say that would explain her father's attitude. How does one explain anything apart from Scripture?

The conversation ended and all I can remember is that I kept assuring her that there would be a funeral service.

I remembered the skinny little kid that played in the back yard at Arch Avenue. Mom always saw to it that they had a pool to play in. I remembered all the times that Mom told her to quit eating ants even after she found out that it would not hurt Laura as long as she didn't get into anything else or ant poison. Needless to say, there was never any ant poison put outside.

Laura Leigh was practically a double for the little girl “Laura Ingalls” on “Little House on the Prairie.” It was just too bad that her little life was not that idyllic. Our home was filled with anger, strife and dysfunctional fell far short of describing what we experienced.

Laura strove to be admired by her father, but it was an unattainable goal. There were those heartbreaking moments when I heard Laura ask Mom why her Dad didn't love her. Mom didn't know how to temper those kind of questions with grace so her response was simply, “I don't know.” Their father had a favorite and we all knew who it was in spite of his protests.

She was a frail-looking child but her spirit was 6 foot 9 and weighed 500 pounds. She dealt with her father's inability to show her the love she needed by grabbing her favorite pillow and fiddling with one of the points where the seams joined and sucking her thumb. She liked to be scratched especially on her arms and her back. She just wanted to be loved.

I was 15 years older and was living on my own while she was in school and growing up, going through puberty and going through high school, but I heard a lot of anecdotes from Mom about the things that went on. I even heard about the beatings but there was nothing that I could do because by then, it was done. Mom would bend them over the table and give them a whack with a 2x4 or anything else that was handy and she kept stuff handy.

I just happened to be at Mom's house that horrid afternoon. We were standing in the front yard talking as I was getting ready to leave. It was about 5:00 pm when we saw the ambulance speed by.

Mom spoke, “I hope that's not Laura.”

At that I turned to leave and it was later that night about 10:30 when I got the phone call. This time, it was Mom.

“Laura's in the hospital. It was her. Dave and I are going there now.” She sounded so sad and before she hung up, I told her that I would meet her there.

That trip to the hospital was short because I was living in town at the time. When I got to the ER waiting room, they were siting there waiting to see her. No one had recognized Laura due to the injuries and swelling around her face. Someone finally recognized what she was wearing and they called the family to positively identify her so they could begin treating her.

When we went in to see her, it was shocking. Her face was scratched and swollen. Her body was swollen and they had no real clue as to the extent of her injuries. What we were to find out about that accident and all the little events that lead to it were eerie.

Laura had left the house that afternoon and was going “to town” but would be back early. Laura had plans. Erika had joined the Air Force and was doing well and Laura had decided to join the Army and had pre-enlisted. When she graduated her enlistment became “official” and she would finally fill out the paperwork and be on her way.

Just one little trip to town would forever change the course of her life. She had experimented with drugs but had given them up to make her life count in the Army. She knew there would be no tolerance.

When her friend saw her and asked her to join them, she declined. When he asked again, she said no, again. On the third or fourth time to ask and she said she would but she had to be home early and there would be no drugs involved.

They, all eight of them, were in a Volkswagen Thing as the left the Kroger parking lot. They were happy and oblivious to any danger ahead. As they left town and headed out to many of the country roads, the music played and they smiled and laughed and talked about their futures.

The driver never saw the stop sign that was covered over with tree limbs. As they entered the crossroads, a car coming from the right plowed into them. The car hit the Thing broad side and skidded around. As it skidded in the road, the Thing went in the air and flipped upside down. The child in the back seat of the car was dead. The driver of the Thing was dead and another lay dying. The Thing was lying upside down on top of Laura.

The first responders said it looked like a war zone because there were bodies everywhere. Because of the number of bodies tossed around, they thought there might be another vehicle involved. As they identified the injured, families were called. Laura's family was the last to be called. She lay there for hours without anything being done because they had no idea who she was.

She looked absolutely horrid. By the time we saw her, she was even more swollen and her skin was yellow, but we could see her breathe. After all the paperwork was signed, they took her to her Charlottesville to the UVA Medical Center.

The first time that I saw her, she looked like the picture that shows all the tubes and lines that are inserted, plus she had casts on her legs and one arm.. One leg had pins to hold it all together. Within 24 hours, she had a screw in her head to relieve the pressure She was in a coma and no one knew when or if she would come out of it.

There are those who have told me that some of what I am about to tell is wrong, but this is my recollection and I was there when they talked to the doctors.

There had been no change and there was talk of taking her off life support to see if she would survive on her own. Erika had not been notified of the seriousness of Laura's condition. They decided to notify Erika and wait until she was there to do anything in case it did not go well.

To say that Erika and Laura were close, was a gross understatement. They were about as close as two sisters can be. Erika knew what would be the trigger to get to Laura. She picked out Laura's favorite blouse and wore it to the hospital. When she got to Laura's bed, she leaned over and said, “Look Laura, I got your blouse on and it looks great!”

A movie script could not have timed it better. As Laura lay there, her eyelids flickered and she said, “My blouse!” and she muttered something else and was suddenly awake. It is my recollection that the coma lasted 11 days. It is my belief that the bond that Erika and Laura shared was a part of her awakening.

Laura's injuries left her brain damaged. She had massive internal injuries, a broken leg, broken ankle, broken arm, broken ribs and all of her internal organs had been shifted around and crushed. The fact that she was alive was a miracle. The reality of her long hard road to recovery had started and it ended with her death.

She tried to work and lead a normal life, but because of her injuries, her social and emotional development never went past about 12 years old. She still had a lot of knowledge that she acquired before the accident, but she could not quite get it together and make it all work for her.

People, men in particular, took advantage of her inability to make good choices and stick to them. It was unfortunate that the very half-way houses that were supposed to help her actually lead to her involvement with drugs. She told me, that you could make better connections at those half-way houses than you could on the street.

As long as Mom was alive, she looked after Laura and made sure that Laura looked after her daughter.  Mom was there for her as a beacon. When Mom died of lung cancer, Laura had no where to turn to have that stability she desperately needed.  Her father knew nothing about compassion for his daughter and provided no real support for her.  He just gave her all the money she wanted when she wanted it even though he knew it would be going for drugs.

I asked Laura if she and her daughter would like to live with me and she said that she wouldn't leave Waynesboro and she was afraid that if she didn't take proper care of her daughter that I would take her from her and I did not lie. I told her that if she put her daughter in danger in any way, that I absolutely would.

It came as no surprise to me that her daughter was taught to be afraid of me. I am sorry for that. There is a lot that I could have shown her about who her mother was before the accident, the drugs and even during those time that she was straight after the accident.

Laura's Daughter

Laura's daughter was the cutest baby.  Laura desperately wanted her to have a stable home; one that showed love and cared about what happened to everyone in the family.  It was also important to Laura that her daughter know her father and have his name.  

Laura had no idea how to provide a loving and stable environment any more than I did at her age, but she tried.  She wanted her child to have the best home.  Given her physical problems and the many drugs that she had been prescribed and the total lack of tangible emotional support, it never materialized like the dream she had.

All of us girls had that dream.  We wanted to move out.  We wanted to marry well and live happily ever after with children and friends and just have a normal home life for a change.  I believe it was in all of us to get out of the constant turmoil.  

The problem with changing your life is that you have to have a clear example of how to do it and you have to have an adequate emotional support system to even stand a tiny chance of doing it.  We had neither and it was an uphill battle with mistakes that never should have been made. 

There was so much verbal and physical abuse in the home that we would have to fight every moment to keep from perpetuating the madness.  Each of us would have varying degrees of success.  But it would always be a struggle and it would always fall short of what we desired.

Laura's child, her only child, was hopefully spared from the total depravity that lurks in the mind of a drug addict.  In spite of her home life, she had friends who would show her love and kindness.  Her childhood would be marked by her ancestors but she would have help outside of their reach that would give her a family that she otherwise would not have had.

She would have a chance at normalcy.  She would graduate from high school and she would go on to have a career.  She would be happy.  She would have trials, but she would have a chance to know what love is.

It only takes one to break the chain of abuse.  It can be done.