People Say Things All the Time

"I didn't mean it that way."
"That isn't what I meant to say."
"Where did you get that idea?"
"Why did you think I would do something like that?"

We really do not know most people that we see everyday and we form opinions about them based on what we would do in their situation.  The problem is that we are not them.

"She must have done that because...!"
"I know why they did that!  It's because...!"

Normally we are wrong.  Few people think like I do.  My child is the combination of DNA from two separate people and the sum of his experiences, which I can only hope were less traumatic than mine.  Still, in spite of the fact that he has part of my DNA, I must not form opinions about what he does nor why he does it.

My husband and I have been married almost 20 years.  Because he had a job that kept him on the road most of the time, it has only been since he retired last year that he has really gotten to know me and vice versa.  

It takes time to really get to know someone and we don't spend time with people anymore.  We share snippets on FaceBook or Twitter.  We exchange emails and chats.  The average email is something forwarded from 35 other people and it originated 25 years ago as a fax that was copied and re-faxed 50 times.  Now it has pretty colored pictures and animated bears dancing across the page.  About 50% of it is a sweet message ending with a dire warning of what will happen if it isn't passed on.

We text.  Well, I don't.  People send texts to people and about 30% of the time, they are texting the wrong person. 

All of this has its place.  It is a convenience that we pay dearly for by not having ANY quiet time.  There are people on FaceBook who have thousands of "friends."  Are they really?  Some of it is for convenience so you can let everyone know your business without it passing through the rumor mill and getting blown out of shape. 

I have 31 "friends".  5 of those "friends" I have never met face to face.  The rest are long term friends that I just like to track without being intrusive.  Or, they are family that I like to track without being intrusive.  I do like knowing that there is still some family out there.  It gives me a sense of belonging.  Of those few that I call true friends are the 1 or 2 that I would call to bail me out of jail.  They might snicker, but they would do it.  There are the few new friends met personally less than a year ago.  We share gardening tips and barbs about the size of our tomatoes. 

Be careful who you call friend.  Be careful what you say.  Mean what you say and say what you mean.