The "Divorce"

Well, it's over.  I do not understand what happened.

Okay!  I was depressed and suffering from anxiety attacks.  But was that any reason to throw me out?  I gave you 17 great years.

I cleaned up your messes, scrubbed toilets, mopped floors, sewed on buttons, killed rats, kept the kitchen clean, listened to your problems, kept your books, listened to everyone else's problems and above all that I worked.  I worked my tail off for you.

So, I was a little hard to get along with the past year.  You throw me out because ... Why?  I never could grasp what I had done that was so wrong.  I answered all your questions to the best of my ability and tried hard to accommodate your needs.  I even tried to anticipate your needs to make sure everything ran smoothly.

I tried to understand (and did sometimes) why you spent money on everything and everyone but me.  I tried to understand why I could never get away from you that you weren't calling me continuously to answer a question.  Even when I cared for my son in the hospital during his surgeries, I always answered my cell phone and tried to take care of things for you.  When I had surgery, you wouldn't even let me recuperate.  You made it clear that there were things that needed to be done and I was the only one that could do them.  You didn't even try to do things on your own.

I even answered legal questions for you.  When I tried to advise you that you needed to get a lawyer to draw up different things, you acted like I had overstepped my position in life.  Like I was some sort of moron.

Well, you know what, you weren't real easy to get along with either!  You were contrary.  You refused to even acknowledge that I was around until it was convenient for you.  When I needed more money, you acted like I had insulted you.  You ridiculed me.  You diminished me in every way possible.  You even told me that I was hard to look at.

Yes, my hair is gray and I have gained some weight, my arthritis is painful and I have eye trouble.  I had baggage when we started out and got more along the way.  You knew I was not perfect when we started this relationship.  But you were always able to tell me what was on your mind when you wanted me to change things and we were always able to work things out.  Generally, after I gave you my opinion, I just bowed down and did what you said you wanted me to do.  I always did it the best I could.

You never told me you were having any problems with me.  Even when that younger woman became involved in our relationship, I tried very hard to understand.  You gave me some flimsy excuse for bringing her in and I really wanted to believe you.  But you became more distant.  You acted like you didn't even want me in the same room with you.  And that abuse got to me.  I'm sorry, but I am human.  It truly bothered me.

Why did you do that to me?  I don't understand what I did wrong.  How did I suddenly become such a terrible person that you had to abuse me and throw me away like I was garbage?  You called me an issue that you didn't want to deal with!  And why did you have to do it on my birthday?  And to finalize the deal, you didn't have enough kahunas to face me?  You had to send me an email without giving me the meeting you promised me?  Are you really that gutless?  Yes I guess you are.  Well, this divorce won't be easy on either of us.   You threw down the gauntlet.  I picked up and accepted your challenge you weasel!