Not Becoming A Victim

When I was working in Boston, Massachusetts I saw an ad for a child abuse victims seminar.  Being open to working through my own personal issues I noted the time and planned to attend.

I thought about all the things I wanted to learn from the seminar.  I thought about questions I had regarding dealing with my memories and experiences.

There was a lot of time spent on thinking about what I really would rather forget.  Trying hard to not relive the experiences but deal with the emotion is difficult and doing that for a seminar means that the seminar better be good!

The seminar started at 7:30 pm and finding a parking space was not too difficult.  There was coffee and donuts and cookies and more junk that no one needed. 

There were about 30 people there and it looked like a good mix of people.  It looked like people from all walks of life and ages.  It was readily apparent that there was no real agenda.  After everyone was seated, someone spoke of statistics and how many children were abused every several minutes and how terrible it was to deal with.

Then came the time to mingle.  It was during this time that I figured out what kind of party it truly was.  They blamed their abuse for everything. 

"I can't work because of my abusive ..."

"I can't have a normal relationship because of ..."

"I can't get out of bed because of ..."

"I can't lose weight because of ..."

"I couldn't go to college because of ..."

"I lost my job because of ..."

"I got divorced because of ..."

"I lost my girlfriend because of ..."

"I lost my boyfriend because of ..."

Everything was being blamed on their past experiences and they could not move beyond them.  Maybe it was just their time to vent.  What they said and what they were doing right down to their body language told me that this is what they are.  They are victims.  They allowed their life to be determined by someone they really would like to forget, but they simply could not do it.  Instead their existence centered around evil.  They were drawn into it as though they were caught in a whirlpool and unable to extricate themselves even though help was all around them.

Trying to talk them out of their cesspool was like trying to talk to a 6 foot man drowning in 3 feet of water.   He is flopping and flailing around not realizing that if he simply put his feet down he would be on solid ground.  The reality of what they are doing is not visible to them.  They are unable to stand on their own two feet even though there is solid ground beneath them.

"Bring unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."  We do not have to carry our burdens forever.  There is One who can release us of the weight of child abuse and any other problems that we carry with us.  We do not have to be victims.  We can rely on the One who was a Victim for us all.