Most Interior Decorators do not work in an office and have no idea what actually needs to go on in one. Unfortunately, just because they can rearrange furniture, pick a color pallet and buy knick-knacks with their customer's money does not mean they know diddly about the function and layout of a well functioning office, much less 12.
Of course, if you are designing executive suites and conference rooms, an Interior Designer might be okay. You really do not have to have a functioning work environment because there will not be that much work done in those areas anyway unless a clerk or assistant happens to walk in.
To not have proper storage or workspace in an office is abominable. To use only lateral file cabinets instead of vertical because they are pretty is a waste of space. Of course if your only interest is in the way the office looks to those people you want to impress, then function can be rapidly dispensed with. Since you do not want the average employee to have a life anyway, you must not leave any space for their own personalities to shine through.
Take up the spaces with ostentatious bookends that can hold no books. Make sure that the paintings and prints on the walls are of no interest to anyone and have a high price tag. Make sure you have end tables irrationally placed about the room with irrelevant lamps that cast little or no light. You must make sure that the lighting in the office causes eye problems and headaches when the workers try to work with computer monitors.
Purchase huge desks that must be placed in the middle of each office directly over the floor outlets. To be in keeping with the whole ostentatious theme, you must make certain that the desks have no holes through which you run cables for computer workstations, telephones, calculators, printers or any other equipment that might actually be used by a working employee during the course of the day.
You must also, overload each work area with a variety of artificial plants which provide nothing but a place for dust to come within easy reach of anyone with allergies or asthma.
Do not install any type of ramp for the disabled as it might encourage someone with a physical disability to apply for work. Do not have a handicapped parking place. That nasty blue just does not go with anything in the office. Do not designate specific parking spaces because that might mean you could get more than 3 cars in each parking area. Designate spaces without telling anyone so the employee who violates the rule can be talked about and vilified without ever knowing why.
Make sure the bathrooms are non-functional for handicapped access. In the kitchen, locate the microwave behind the door so it is quite inconvenient. Place large tables that seat only 8 people so when all 25 - 30 people go to lunch, many will have to either go out or eat in their office. Make the layout as inconvenient as possible so access to all appliances inconveniences at least 3 people.
Put in no storage areas so all paper towels, toilet tissue, etcetera must be stored where no one remembers where they are so orders can be duplicated.
Add 15 or 20 employees and make sure no one knows precisely what they are doing or what their hours are, and ... Wait! Let us not forget management! Throw in a few highly educated fellows who have never had to work for a living because mommy and daddy provided for them. Make sure they have absolutely no people skills and tell no one which one of these brain-trusts they work for.
Now you have a recipe for the perfect office. Your recipe may be altered to reach the highest level of confusion possible.
Just to make sure things run smoothly have weekly meetings to discuss what is to be done and when. As soon as the agenda is set, dismiss the meeting and when you walk out the door, throw away the agenda. It works every time!
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